Food Spoilage Guide, A Guide For The Rest Of Us!

Food Spoilage Guide, A Guide For The Rest Of Us!
 

Finally, a way to know what to pitch and what to save!

THE GAG TEST
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).

EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realize you've never purchased that kind.

MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.

FROZEN FOODS
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

EXPIRATION DATES
This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calender in your kitchen.

MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

BREAD
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.

FLOUR
Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

SALT
It never spoils.

CEREAL
It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date.
 
LETTUCE
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns liquid.

CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of. Carefully.

POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

CHIP DIP
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

EMPTY CONTAINERS
Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it only works if you live with someone or have a maid.

UNMARKED ITEMS
You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not burp when you open them.

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in or nearby your refrigerator to gauge this.

SEPTEMBER?!?!

How is it that tomorrow is September 1st? Where was summer? I was waiting for it to show up..it stopped by,said it would be back and....it never did  :(  Now fall is creeping in! I finally (but ever so reluctantly) put on my big fuzzy socks today,I'm craving comfort food and I am plotting Christmas..what the heck! SO I turn my thoughts to my fast approaching vacation. 7 days off ,6 of them in Sekiu with friends,family and fishing.. 6 whole days in paradise disconnected from the whole world. No running water and no flushy toilet yet for some strange reason...I love every minute of it!
Here's the campers we stay in,we stay in the one on the left-

Here's the toilet-

And here's the kitchen-

Here is the "busy " little fishing town full of anxious fishermen-

I love the sunsets in Sekiu,especially from out on the Straits Of Juan de Fuca.

A good morning fishing!I love this pic of my Dad,Vern and Lloyd. 3 very awesome guys and die-hard fishermen!

Oh now I am getting excited! Now I am also realizing I have A LOT to do in the next two weeks!Meal planning and precooking heart healthy meals my Dad will eat but that also taste good.He is very strict about his diet...and I want him around for as long as possible soo..turkey and chicken it is!haha
As for me,I sit here and think of all my favorite things I like to do while I am there..
I want to-
*wake up,make coffee and head directly to the beach. No checking the time or brushing your hair. Just barefoot in a cozy sweatshirt,waking up and having coffee with the tide and the sparkly rocks it scattered on the beach.

*skip the personal maintenance routine.Although I find a way to shower almost everyday, I love that for a whole week I have no use for make up,a blow drier or wearing fashionable matching outfits. Instead it's bandannas,sunglasses and a few layers of the most functional clothing I own..including rubber boots and rain gear if needed.

*have quality time with Vern without all the daily interruptions of our regular life. I love getting away with him and  relaxing and having fun with no cell phones,computers or schedules.

*fill the memory card on my camera. 1,100 pics is a fair challenge.

*sit on the beach,maybe even nap. When we are on the beach we are always moving. This time,I am going to bring a few good magazines,blankets and snacks and just go sit an hang out in a private little beach spot.If I am lucky enough to have a sunny day and a low,calm tide..I just might nap :)

*admit that I enjoy playing "house" at camp. Washing dishes with a hose,cooking over an open fire and keeping the camper somewhat organized. It's fun to change up the ol' routine!

So I change my opinion..HURRY UP SEPTEMBER! I want to go on vacation!
:)