Really Bad Sh*t....Literally

I feel like I should write about this time in our life while the details are still fresh but I am too exhausted physically and emotionally to compose anything proper...
After a few weeks of suffering from tummy troubles,Vern finally went to the Dr.. Many tests later,Vern was bracing himself to survive his first colonoscopy due to suspected Diverticulitis.
Wednesday evening his Dr called us at home and told us to head to the ER because he was concerned about the results of Vern's CT scan. So,we packed our bags and headed over. It's not very often that you get to walk into the ER and say "Hello,I'm Vern,I think you are expecting me?" and the receptionist says "Vern...oh yes,your Dr called we are ready for you."
After a few hours in ER getting admitted,he was moved to a room upstairs as we were told to settle in for a few days of IV antibiotics. Due to his Diverticulitis,part of his colon had become infected,then ruptured causing a hole in his colon that had begun to wall itself off and block outflow. Mess. A huge mess. My poor sweet man was suddenly faced with weeks in the hospital,surgery,recovery.

And that wasn't even the WORST news....
In cases as extreme as Vern's the infected part of the colon needs to be removed and the possibility of the surgeon being able to reattach it at the same time is highly unlikely.That means a coloscopy bag for a few months so the body can heal and then another surgery later to reattach the colon.

Thursday was a rough day. Shock. Tears. Hugs. Tons of phone calls,texts,facebook comments and messages. Our friends and family have been so amazingly supported and have provided a much needed source of strength. The last 48 hours have been educational to say the least. All the IV hoses and machines are becoming a lot less intimidating as we don't hesitate to hit the "silence" button when it beeps constantly for no reason. Finicky machine! We know what every IV bag is full of and what it's doing as the Nurse's appreciate our input as the shifts change every 6-8 hours and we keep them up to date. We walk the halls of our floor a few times a day,it's hard for Vern to sit in bed all day and we are trying to take advantage of it while we can because it looks like surgery is tomorrow. Vern is such a good sport,strolling the halls in his camo slippers,athletic shorts and hospital robe. Rolling his IV machine in front of him with one hand and holding my hand with the other.

So I end this blog for now,I should've been asleep hours ago...
Prayers are appreciated,we really need them tomorrow. We will get through this and everything will be fine... or so I keep telling myself.
 Man,I really need a hug.

4 Eyes

A View From The 2nd Floor....

Totally Snowed

The "Snowpocolyps" of 2012 looks like it's finally over. 3 days of snow,rain and ice making dangerous messes of the roads and freezing trees to their breaking point causing power to be out. We sat in the quiet listening to trees snap and fall all around us,checking on neighbors all the while to make sure they were prepared,this place was like a war zone! We really roughed it,not 30 minutes later the guys had the generator up and running. I started a batch of soup as Vern ran around gathering candles,gas and other supplies as we were told to prepare for a 3-4 day outage. We were happily surprised when the power came back on just hours later! Buuuut with the cable and internet still out we snuggled in for the storm. We watched movies played cards,cleaned house and cooked goodies trying to avoid boredom as our apparent addiction to technology reared it's ugly head....oh good times.

Now everything is melting,creating a town full of sudden lake front property. The cable and internet finally came on tonight...we were delighted as Vern got to watch a favorite show before bed and I was able to log in and get some much needed work done on my virtual ranch! Oh what have we become?! Ha ha. BUT IN MY OWN DEFENSE...I will  be extra thankful in my prayers, for all the luxuries and comforts we enjoy and appreciative of the opportunity to be reminded and grateful for them ;)

Talking About Something Besides Snow For A Change

Oh winter…..you have crept into my spirit you sneaky villain! I realize my gusto for just about anything has gone out the window. I really haven’t cooked or baked in weeks, no motivation to tackle any house projects except the usual upkeep and I have been forcing my stubborn anxiety to let me make it through my days at work. Draining. Also Vern has been very sick. Without a “TMI” I will just say he is having some extreme tummy issues. At this point the Dr. is running every test he can think of until we find the problem. Poor guy has been miserable for weeks! L And then it snows…and snows.. and makes all of the above that much more complicated…..(digs for big girl panties) ugh.

But on the lighter side of things…I realize I have become a scissor happy Mom with Maxine. Poor kid, in all this wet weather she gets mattes at the blink of an eye if I am not CONSTANTLY brushing her. So to save all of our sanity I snip them out and then sometimes I trim a few more places here and there and well ..we all have a good laugh! She is a good sport about all the hair maintenance and thankfully she is so adorable that her less than perfect haircut often goes unnoticed.

In other news, Del is pushing for grey paint in the living room. I don’t know if I have mentioned it before but for someone who only has 20% of his sight he sure is opinionated about color! He is STILL complaining about the kitchen color yet the remodel he did over a year ago still sits unfinished and our house is 4 different colors on the outside. So I am embracing grey, I look at it as a challenge! Mwahaha (evil laugh) A challenge to find a color as brown (what I want) as possible but that still looks grey enough to fool him. Then I will decorate the room with beautiful bright deco and crisp while trim and molding. (Thanks to my ex husband I have TONS of experience polishing a turd and tolerating stubborn men! LOL Oh I crack myself up sometimes …) I might even throw in a few bits of purple just for kicks…er I mean contrast. ;)

And now for a little laugh...I went out for my birthday and had a few drinks, a few more than I have had in a long time. Tara returned me home safely around 9:30 pm and not ten minutes later my parents called to wish me a happy birthday! As I fumbled with my phone trying to decide what to do, I swiped down on my screen by instinct and answered. Crap. Sooo… I played it cool (what am I?! 16!?) ,thanked them for the card and mentioned I had been out for a few drinks with the girls. I think we chatted on for 30 minutes about things I really don’t remember …. something about me wanting them to look at a house/mobile over here in a nearby “senior community” since they are going for less than 5k at the moment…and then the part that still makes me laugh..

“I really appreciate the phone call and all but… I am just drunk enough that it is hard to talk on the phone.”

BAHAHAHAHAHA!
I didn’t laugh at the time, I was completely serious and trying to maintain just one single ounce of tact.
I think they were as shocked to hear me say it as I was!

“Really? But you sound good to us, talked just fine.?” my Mom replies as she laughs.

They totally understood and we said our good byes. I am so glad to have the kind of parents I can talk to about anything to and that can share a laugh with me when I have a rare buzz. I will be looking forward to our next phone call ;)

Just the weekend....

Sombreros and Bloody Marys

McDonalds=Hangover cure

Accepting a grey living room

Snuggling

Choosing Walmart over a walk

Facebook.

Snow

Chex Mix

Hoping Vern starts feeling better :(

Messy people

Reno

Wet dogs

Considering more tattoos...

lots of them.

Love



Thirty Four

"Dear Cara,
Happy Birthday sweetheart! I remember well the day you were born.We had expected you on Christmas. My due date was December 25th or 26th. I guess you didn't want to share you birthday with Jesus! On January 12th my Mom dropped me off at Dr. Edward's office to see if I was ready.One induction shot and minutes later my water broke. He gave me a diaper to wear and walked me across the street to the hospital. A few hours later you were here! You are a blessing.
We wish we could be there for your birthday. We hope to come over soon.
Hugs & Kisses,
Dad & Mom"
-written inside my birthday card from my parents this year. What a beautiful gift it is to have her share that memory with me,love you Mom & Dad!

Over The Hill

Happy 50th Birthday Del!



Do These Glasses Make Me Look Smarter?

A Day At The Beach In December

New

new-
1. of recent origin, production, purchase, etc.; having but lately come or been brought into being: a new book.

2. of a kind now existing or appearing for the first time; novel: a new concept of the universe.

It's a new year and I am surprised once again at the appeal of using this opportunity to start new habits and make goals. I have never cared much for making a New Year's resolution,when I have,I gave up mid January. Instead I have tried to focus more on finding ways to make the most of the next 365 days while avoiding the pressure of keeping a resolution. Yes of course I want to be healthier, thinner, nicer, a harder worker ,better at trusting God,the best overall person I can be bla bla bla...

But all of that aside.

Deep down I am overwhelmed with the stereotypical desire to start new?

No, I don't mean fleeing the state and changing my name or quitting my job or anything that drastic.

I mean new like letting the past go,turning the page and proudly accepting that who I was and who I am are very different people. Time to live in the now. The present,the future. No more baggage from my ex marriage,dysfunctional lifestyles and toxic friends. No more old house full of cobwebs and mismatched paint that doesn't feel like a home...
our home.
This epiphany hit me othe other day as I was washing dishes. It's a hodge podge of Corelle that I got as a wedding gift in 1999 when a married a man who made my life a living hell for the ten years to follow. The others were a mixed set of chipped and stained hand me downs from Vern's family. I suddenly began to question the need to tolerate,wash,use these dishes that are either ruined or remind me of a bad memory. Especially ridiculous because I had a beautiful set of Fiesta ware sitting on my corner shelf doing nothing but making it look pretty and collecting dust." Do I really want to live the kind of life where I take the chance of dying with my fancy dishes still on a shelf?! NO!" So I gathered them up,gave them a long soapy soak and let them dry as I hauled those last bits of Corelle out to the recycle bin. An hour later,my cupboard was an organized masterpiece of storage containers and colorful dishes. My inner OCD basked in the sight of it,I was proud.

So we begin tomorrow,getting rid of everything that doesn't have any positive memory. Giving it away,throwing it away...oh yes,the sweet release of bad juju!
First project is to make over the living room. It needs everything from paint and molding to rugs and a couch. After that I will inflict my collection of home deco ideas from Pinterest all over the place. During this process it will require me to also tackle the garage. Time to come face to face with my piles of storage and say good bye to most of it once and for all. I need room to store more important things! Like...a craft bench area,stockpile items,garden supplies..perhaps a small greenhouse? Ok that last one will never happen but hey..a girl could dream! The really fun part will be being able to finally use and display some of the beautiful funky junk and deco we have been collecting. Old windows, giant mirrors, shelves ,antiques, beach treasures and generations of family heirlooms.
Oh irony,the ecitement of making new with a bunch of old stuff. 
Our new.

Resolutions

Stumped trying to think of a New Year's Resolution this year?

 May I offer some helpful suggestions?

Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.

Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.

Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.

Learn what the hell "resolution" means.

Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.  

I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.

I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.

I will no longer waste my time relieving the past and instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

I will not bore my boss with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.  

I will try to figure out why I really need nine e-mail addresses.  

I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.

I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.

I will think of a password other than "password."

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

Read fewer books. A little learning is a dangerous thing. Too much of it can really wreck your head.

Watch more TV. It's very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

2011 Memory Lane

Gosh..the thought of trying to sum up 2011 and welcome 2012 in a blog post seems intimidatingly difficult and too much pressure. As I think back  about all the things that happened last year, my heart literally swells with gratitude..it wasn't perfect but as a whole is was pretty darn good!

We became parents of the cutest and sweetest little girl! Maxine is only 6 pounds but she has filled our home with so much love! Personally I have always known I needed a little girl and she is that and more!

I had my first surgery,bye bye Gallbladder!

I continued to fall deeper in my love and commitment to this man...

And together we cooked

and cooked...

We adventured through the Northwest,from the mountains to the beaches

We laughed....

 

And we cried...

So many good memories *sigh*..

Good bye 2011..

Welcome 2012

;)