Stuff

I often wonder what makes me want to blog or not blog....I think sometimes it's because things just happen so quickly and I don't have the time or energy. Other times it's because I am going through things I don't want to or can't discuss here. But honestly I think it's just simply a lack of desire to write. I am not a writer.... and life...just feels too full of...stuff.
Right now,what is my life like riiiiight now? Vern and I are both running our butts of with work and smoked cheese orders and holidays and....life in general. All the reasons that make me start to actually look forward to the 400 mile road trip home for Christmas. It gives Vern and I 400 miles to reconnect and relax before the holiday starts in full swing. In the meantime, I have become an official lover of Amazon and have done most of my online shopping there.Now I wait patiently for it all to arrive at my doorstep. Until then,my shopping just doesn't feel "done".
 Vern's cold smoked cheese hobby is quickly becoming profitable. We are now delivering our first cheese orders!Vern cold smoked,sliced (with his fancy new electric slicer),packaged and labeled almost 20 pounds of cheese (with my help) and it looks beautiful! So proud of him!
The kids are good,still keeping us busy,making us laugh,or driving us crazy! Max is happy as long as she has her Momma so these long days I have been working have been a little rough for her. She is stuck home with "the boys" and usually insists her Daddy hold her or at least lay and snuggle with her so she can have her afternoon nap...and wins. Chipper gets his turn at the new groomer on Saturday so he can be all handsome for our visit to Grandma and Grandpa's house next week....oh wait have I even explained that?!....
 Guess what?! Vern,Chipper,Maxine and I are headed to Idaho for Christmas this year! It will be Vern and Maxine's first time having a traditional Chubb family Christmas!We are excited to be heading off on vacation in Idaho for the holiday this year where we are pretty much guaranteed a white Christmas. It's been too long since I have gone for a walk in the snow on Christmas day or felt the crunch of many inches of fresh snow under my feet! It's so true the little things you miss when you grow up aren't always what you expect. I know there were many times I swore I would never miss snow! HA!And on another level,it's another wonderful first,our first North Idaho Christmas as a happy little family,I am so ready to make some happy new memories! My Mom getting her first laptop,our kids acting all goofy in the snow and sharing it all with the man I love.
Ok,that's enough stuff for now.I  might check in again or you might not hear from me for the rest of the year? Depends on stuff ;)

I Suppose...

I could tell you it's November and my head is spinning with Thanksgiving planning...
but you probably already knew that.
Or maybe, that I am ready to hang up the Christmas lights early..
because that's a first.
I could tell you that October was a really slow month at the shop for me...
that sucked.
Or that I am so dang happy the elections are over...
there is always a few mouthy idiots that ruin it for everyone.
I could tell you about the slowly growing group of Hummingbirds that feed and frolic in our backyard these days..
"Hank" is the Alpha.
Or that Vern has mastered that art of making his own bacon AND fixed my Dad's boat..
but the Bacon topic alone deserves it's own blog post.
 I could admit that I am stumped and can't think of anything to talk about..
but you probably already knew that ;)

October...?

October arrived with sunshine and promises of a long Indian summer and is ending with a blustery,cold and wet exit. The first part of the month we celebrated with the completion of the living room ...well, the laborious part that is. The furniture and deco will all find it's way here in good time,that's the life of a junker. Sometimes you don't now what you are looking for until you find it! But all was well by the time the first weekend rolled around and..
Vern and his 3 best childhood friends, headed off to Sekiu for a rare weekend of guy time. I joined some friends for an evening at their home,getting handcuffed by a 5 year old,having a wonderful steak at 10pm and watching The Lorax until I could barely keep my eyes open. Although Vern and I were both exhausted by Sunday,it was a great way to blow off some steam after our living room remodel "experience" from weeks before.
The week that followed was full of preparations for the coming weekend. Vern's 30th class reunion was finally just days away and we were expecting 5 guests to stay for the weekend. I stressed about what to where,how to do my hair and a whole lot of other insane female insecurities. Of course there was the underlying fear,the woman who had been chasing Vern at reunions for years and actually tried to knee him in the crotch just 5 years ago because he wouldn't dance with her...surely the news of him having a girlfriend wasn't going to go over well!? I shopped,prepped,had a little cry but by the day of the reunion.....we were ready. Even Vern was an extremely good sport and got a new outfit,it was worth it,he looked especially handsome!

The reunion. We pre partied with our friends and us girls made sure we looked our best! We arrived at 7pm,we socialized, drank, ate, sat through the formalities and we were out of there by 9:30! The woman I mentioned earlier was a laughable issue at best. I took one look at her when we first got there and knew we would have no problems the rest of the evening. ....and we didn't. ;) The party continued at our house with the same 5 dear friends we had started it with. After a big breakfast

 the next morning and a lazy day of warm sun and delicious ribs that Vern made,we said goodbye to all our guests and found ourselves happily exhausted once again.
Weekend number 3-My friend Jessica came to visit with her new puppy Prema,a miniature Doxon. I loved all of the puppy kisses and snuggles but my Maxine was not so hospitable. She barked and nipped at poor Prema wanting to play rough like she does with her big brother or frustrated with jealousy from having to share her Mother. 3 crazy dogs and hard wood floors are a hilarious mix...for awhile. ha ha

We shopped,we talked and once again Vern spoiled us with great food. By Monday,I was officially exhausted...but hope was in sight....

Weekend 4! A weekend away at the beach,in the trailer, with just us and the dogs! Woohoo! We hooked the trailer up for the first time this year and made our way to one our favorite spots at Grayland State Park. The wind and rain were heavy at times but we didn't care. We snuck out for adventures when we could and spent the rest of our time watching movies or playing cards and it was exactly what we needed. We experienced the Bloody Mary that was voted Washington's Best at a restaurant in Westport,WA. It's impressive looking but I think the ones we make at home are way better,this one inspired me to work on my toppings. Either way,it was good and I was tipsy so..life was good :)

 

And finally we have made it to the end of the month and the pace is slowing a bit. Maxine's 2nd birthday is Thursday October 25th so we will be getting some special treats and toys to celebrate our little girl! And then Halloween and once again, I work late...so I am the house without a porch light on or any candy once again. I have secretly vowed to make sure that next year I am off early. I want to decorate and hand out candy like they did when we were kids...yah,I want to be the cool lady with the good candy for a change :)

You

You,sometimes I am so overwhelmed by the love,patience and hard work that you put into our relationship that I actually question if I deserve it. You make me strive to want to be a better partner for you on a daily basis. Even when you aren't with me,you make me feel safe when I am haunted of relationships past,a comfort in knowing I will always be loved this much. That in itself is a gift every man should give but can never purchase. I hope I give you that in return,the love you deserve,the 100% and more and the comfort of knowing you will always be loved by me.

I love you.

Living Room Remodel Part 5

Back to square one,except this time with smooth ceilings, just slightly imperfect here and there to maintain it's old house charm ;) Oh and that blotch of paint on the wall "Gizmo" is a keeper. The color swatch we had originally agreed on looked to be a brownish gray neutral but in the can and on the wall it is lavender! I painted samples on every wall in the room and waiting to see what Vern and Del would say. Vern (being the highly evolved and intelligent man he is) took the safe route and the first thing he said was "Do you like it?" and his next comment after I bobbed my head was "It looks purple?" I agreed.  We decided to keep our giggles to ourselves and waited to hear Del's opinion."What do you think of the gray?" we asked. "I like it,in fact,I wish I would've painted my bedroom this color!" It was all we could do not to crack up right in front of him as we maintained eye contact and nonchalantly agreed.LOL! ( I remind you all that this legally blind man is surprisingly picky about the color of the walls and still grumbles about the kitchen color I chose 2 years ago) As the days go by it really has grown on me,I'd lie if I said I'm not slightly worried it's a little dark but I think I will honestly love it in the long run.Paint color is one of the few areas of my life that I like a little drama! Again,I apologize that my blog app only publishes one photo at a time (and it is the only way I know how to get photos off my phone and on to my laptop besides using Facebook and sharing with everyone there.) Next phase is dedusting and wiping down the living room one. more. time. and then I get to start painting...finally painting! I'll keep you posted :)

Living Room Remodel Part 4

The beautiful cove ceilings survived...just a little patching to do.

Living Room Remodel Part 3

The aftermath,all that ceiling...on the floor. Finally.

Living Room Remodel Part 2

Disaster strikes. Who knew that a thick wet coat of paint would make that old popcorn ceiling just starting falling right off?! I returned from a trip to the hardware store with a few more gallons of ceiling paint to see this....my ceiling...hanging from my ceiling,peeling off and dropping to the floor. Whattamess!!!! So we changed gears and Vern set to work scraping all of it off. The part we had painted was the worst,thankful we had taped and covered the floors before we started! The other 3/4 of the room I misted with water and Vern continued to scrape. He is such a saint!

Living Room Remodel

"I don't understand WHY you insist me paint the ceiling,its not THAT bad!" Says Vern as we apply the first coat of fresh paint..ha ha Also seen here...a sample of the paint on the lower wall...I think I like it!

Release

I'm done. With the hurting,the lying,the kiss your ass goodbye on crack plan,mean people,rude people and people with too many opinions. Worship whatever friggin thing you want,vote for your favorite idiot and feel free to be passionate about something that matters to you but for crap's sake be a decent human being and treat others as you hope to be treated. Or,ruin your life,waste it on drugs and alcohol or video games,don't worship anything and hate everyone,I. Don't. Care. It's none of my business and quite frankly I don't have the energy or patients for your shit,misery,hatred. That's your choice,go ahead. But,when it effects the people I love in a negative or harmful way,I care. I care like a speeding freight train full of nuclear waste and manure,with no brakes on a downhill slope, that will wipe out your tiny village of idiots faster than you could hear me screaming down the track. I care. Oh how I wish those who this is intended for could actually read this! But just in case I have that luck,let me say this...no matter how good of friends we are,or how much I love you,I will not tolerate you hurting the other people I love. And I am not afraid to tell you to your face. I HATE crack,meth,oxy,heroin alcohol etc as it has already taken too many people I love away from me and I be dammed if I am going to stand by quietly while it happens again. If I love you,it is because you have shown me your heart is good. I don't care what race,religion or political party you are if your heart is good. If you wish to flush it all away,go do it alone...and when you are ready to pull your head out and get back on your feet guess what? I'll be there. Because why....I care.

My Day ...

Virtual Vacation

I have struggled to end the dangerous part of my love affair with food. It has been a long process with little results but I am seeing improvements none the less. Today I realized another unhealthy relationship I have...Facebook. Part of the problem is the content. There are always a few friends with a happy vibe or a great sense of humor but the rest...it just seems either they don't care or they only want to complain or argue.Scrolling my "Wall" usually leaves me sitting on my fingers to avoid spouting my opinion and/or offending someone. Yet I do it at least 20 times a day?!  I used to check in a few times a day,then I started playing the games and had to check in more often. Now...due to the increase in technology...I check in from my phone all.day.long. and leave the tab open on my laptop in the evening as I check in a few times hourly. But....why? is the question I had to finally ask myself. I imagined the things I may be tempted/motivated to do with out the brain numbing,timesucking social media time I usually waste. I could get started on all my "Someday" projects,enjoy more quality time with my kids in the evenings (another advantage of furbabies is not having a bedtime so they can hang out with you at night),reignite my love for cooking and playing in the kitchen (I know Vern would really appreciate it if I would at least make him a sandwich for lunch) and focus on keeping in contact with the real people in my life and not my 300+ Facebook "friends". And last but not least I will have more time to blog. I am still hoping to have it made into paperback one of these days so in the meantime I have to get better at posting photos ,recipes...well,just more good stuff and more often. For me I look at my blog as a journal of my life that I will (and already have) enjoy looking back on and remembering the many chapters of my life. It's so easy to forget the day to day stuff and I really don't mind sharing it with the world,it saves me from writing/sharing things I wouldn't be proud for my future grandkids to read *smirk*
So I started my "Virtual Vacation" from social media today,a diet of sorts I guess? I admit I still checked in more than I hoped out of boredom,habit or both today but at this very moment there is no facebook tab open. That in itself is progress
 I say we start off with a recipe to get things rolling. Spaghetti Casserole-created by me but surely inspired by something I saw on Pinterest and as usual,it was gone before I got a photo.

Cara's Spaghetti Casserole

I had...some leftover vegetables and salad,a pound of burger, a jar of spaghetti sauce,a bag of coil pasta and Panko. I had to run to the store for Parmesan cheese and a bag of "Italian" blend white cheese.

I browned the burger and in a separate pan, steamed and caramelized the veggies and salad ingredients into a buttery veggie paste (for flavor, like bouillon). I added the veggie paste and the jar of pasta to the meat in a large pan.I gave it a good stir and set the heat to low as I ran off to the store for cheese...

When I returned the sauce looked all bubbly and happy I started the noodles. The coil pasta I used is similar to angel hair so it cooks fast in approx 6-8 minutes. Remove from heat,strain well and pour into 9X13 pan ( I used a Pyrex glass one). Chop noodles into small 1 inch to 1/2 inch pieces and add about a 1/2 cup of Parmesan cheese and stir well to mix with noodles. Top noodles with happy spaghetti sauce,spreading evenly. Add a layer of Italian cheese mix,then a layer of Parmesan cheese and top with a light layer of Panko bread crumbs. I cooked it at 375 degrees for about 30 minutes hoping the top would brown without using the broiler but it didn't really happen, sooo (even though the pan says no broiler) I put it under the broiler at 400 degrees for less than 10 minutes until the top was crispy and brown the the layer of Italian cheese started to lightly bubble. Had I just stuck it in the broiler in the first place we could've eaten sooner but it was still good either way. Let sit for 5-10 minutes before serving and should scoop right out in squares much like a lasagna.

Waaahla! A new twist on an old boring favorite and the leftovers were much better than traditional spaghetti!
Ok so that was fun right? I will see what I can come up with for my next blog,maybe even a photo!*gasp*

My First Garage Sale

We had our first yard sale last weekend and well,talking about it in great detail would be boring but perhaps if I keep it brief you may find the humor that I did.
Weeks of preparing, organizing & garage cleaning.
Prices marked & junk sorted
neon green Yard Sale signs made and hung
One crazy morning
One beautiful September day
6 hours in the sun on my front porch selling stuff I'd usually just donate
$130 profit and a sunburn
Leftover stuff turned free pile until it rained
equals one large truck full of stuff to Goodwill
Where the donation line is almost in the street so...
Vern drops me off in the front of Goodwill
Vern returns to the back of the store to wait in line to unload our leftovers.
15 minutes later...
We walk out the front of the store with bags of new junk I bought with my garage sale money.
We arrive home to celebrate the new found space in our garage.
Only then do we realize what lies ahead...
Weeks of preparing, organizing & garage cleaning.

Lesson Learned: Next time just donate it in the first place. You get a tax write off and a coupon for 30% off one item....I'm thinking that's totally worth it ;)

Vern's Girl

Cloud 9

We've been home from the beach 2 days and I find myself still in a mental slumber. Perhaps our weekend was just sooooo good that I am in no hurry to return to full on "reality mode" yet. The weather was warm and you could see bits of Autumn starting to appear. We found (and drug home) a few great pieces of driftwood, an unusual variety of agates and the usually unusual collection of shells and random treasures.For the first time we watched movies on the laptop at night before bed instead of reading. It was cool to be watching a movie and hear the waves crashing outside in the distance.
Camp Sekiu has undergone some major improvements...Lloyd built a larger and much improved "kitchen" near the newly relocated fire pit. It will be nice to have a place to hang out when it rains besides our trailer and a lot more convenient to have a place to prep food. Also he has cleared an area close to camp that we named "The Park". By most standards it is still pretty full of trees and ground cover debris but in comparison to it's surroundings...it looks like a park! So that was a popular spot to take the dogs and let them run leash free and explore. They had so much fun running,smelling and playing,it was really cute!
Leash free,I guess that's how I felt too...one afternoon the guys went mushroom picking and I stayed back at camp with the dogs. Yep,just Me,the dogs and the handgun...I had to laugh a little,sometimes my life feels so redneck. lol I turned on my Itunes,did my hair and makeup and uploaded photos to Facebook. Hardly sounds like camping right?! I needed that "Cara time".

 But there were a few memories I'd like to make sure I remember for a long time....one morning Vern greeted me with coffee and said "Good morning my future bride!" It was so cute and made me smile just a little the rest of the....well I am still smiling so ...but later that morning I was on the beach and something occurred to me. This is exciting. Knowing he is going to ask soon but not sure when and how. Up until the other day I had been a little frustrated with waiting. I suddenly realized that I should stop and enjoy this exciting and giddy feeling because it is rare. This is the last time I will feel this way,waiting for the man of my dreams to ask my hand in marriage *sigh* yep,once in a life time. I had turned the wait into a frustration and almost missed this opportunity to make the most of it!I feel so blessed for the epiphany I had on the beach that morning...

And then as if he didn't have me on Cloud 9 already...My Prince Charming,he's always thinking...One night we were headed back to camp after dinner at our friend's house and he drove right past the turn off. As I smiled at him with a raised eyebrow he drove on with a childish grin telling me only that he had a surprise. A sunset beach walk. There we were,alone on miles of beach,holding hands all showered and fed as the sun set on the Straits between the US and Canada.There are few perfect moments in life and this was one of them. One I hope I remember for a very long time <3 p="p">

 

Deja Vu?

So many times I have written a post like this before but I suppose it can't stop me from posting about it once again...
In 48 hours I plan to be in Camp Sekiu. 2 1/2 days of beach combing,fresh ocean air,campfires and snuggling with my man in our double sleeping bag. I need to get away and unplug,it has been an intense summer and things aren't slowing down anytime real soon as the holidays sneak up on us.When I walk on those beaches I forget about this big ol' crazy world. No voice mails to check or calls to return,no messy roommate,no work and too far away to be much help if needed anyway. I need a damn hot dog!Charred near black by a propane BBQ or open flame and a few days of crazy wind blown hair and no make up. I want to get my daily work out while climbing through the rain forest looking for mushrooms. Maybe Vern can snag us a salmon out of the river and we can once again experience a Northwest dinner like no other? Fresh salmon caught that day and mushrooms picked that day, all grilled over an open flame in the rain forest as you gaze at the stars and point out the occasional cruise ship floating slowly by in the Straits below. It's magic,an experience you could not buy in any restaurant. So tomorrow I will dig out my travel bag and begin to pack in hopes that will keep my busy until Friday afternoon when we make our escape.

Back On The Wagon..

Sometime last week I started up my Isagenix again and tomorrow I start my first cleanse! With some help of two other Isa friends coaching me I have lost the 2 pounds I gained while I was off of it! The three of us are cleansing together tomorrow and I am excited at the thought of having someone to struggle through it with! Cleansing is a two day process in which you fast for 2 days and in return nourish and cleanse your body with the help of a cleanse liquid and little round snacks packed full of the nutrients your body needs to nourish and stabilize during the process. Oh and water,lots and lots of water to help flush it all out! Half your body weight in ounces,try it,it's harder than you think...inless you are thin then don't...go have a cheeseburger in my honor instead. ;)
I do not want to be a yo yo dieter. I do not want to lose this weight and then gain it all back. This really has to happen and I really can do it.

This Little House

This little house we live in...I must be determined to like it and stay here because room by room,year by year,we make it a little bit better. As we are deeply committed now to our bedroom remodel,it motivates me to want to tackle so many of the other projects I have in mind. 2 more rooms. OK,2 1/2 because the kitchen isn't totally done yet (needs shelves/deco). Oh and add another half because our bedroom is great but not 100% until we tackle the glue issue on the floors (under the new rug) someday. But basically it comes down to the living room and the office. The living room needs paint,trim,a mantle,lighting,blinds, furniture and new deco that involves all the repurposed projects I have waiting. The office needs new paint,flooring, furniture (everything from a futon to a new computer desk),window covering/blinds and a deco face lift. I am hoping this inspires me to also finish and add a few touches to the kitchen and our bedroom but check back with me a year from now and see how I am doing. ha ha! If you have an old house you'll understand exactly what I mean,the projects never end.
;)

In One Day...

In one day we....
Cleaned and reorganized the garage
Doubled the size of the garage sale pile
Created more storage room for Vern and a craft bench for me in above mentioned newly cleaned garage.
Took a break..
But it was still early...
So we...
Moved everything out of our bedroom
Pulled up the carpet,pad and tack strips
Scrubbed,swept and vacuumed the newly found hardwood floors to remove "some" of the glue residue we will have to tackle in a future project.
Took 350 pounds of junk to the dump.
Went to Home Depot and was lucky enough to find an 8x12 foot beige burbur "solution" for under $100, a new lamp for my night stand and a few cans of Oops Paint (for future projects)
Returned home to wipe down and clean the bedroom walls and furniture
Rolled out and fit new rug into bedroom only to discover that it is 3 inches too wide..and we were too tired to care..
Moved all the clean bedroom furniture back into the bedroom.
Sat in awe for the rest of the evening at how wonderful our new room looks and smells as my new lamp shined a dim, blueish light into the room.
Had the epiphany that if you don't like something about your house/life it may take less that you think to fix it.
Have a clean,organized and roomy garage that makes all 3 of us happy and a beautiful "new"bedroom for one day's work and $150.

The diet. Fell off the wagon somewhere around week 6. Still holding at 15 lbs lost and not gaining so far...still have a closet full of Isagenix but just can't bring myself to get back on the program. I am happier with myself,perhaps I have lost the drive? Maybe it was too strict or I didn't have the will power? I dunno. Not disappointed,I know it'll happen. We are eating better,it's a start :)
Summer. Here in full heat. Supposed to hit 95 degrees by Friday. That's ridiculously hot if you ask me. I will stay in front of the air conditioner.
Work. Good,still happy with the new salon. Business is good and I have been blessed with so many loyal clients that are keeping my schedule full!
Vern's health-after a very "productive" colonoscopy,he is feeling better and we are waiting to see the Dr for the results buttt..the fact that they haven't called yet is somewhat reassuring.
Life. Is busy. I think we are booked up every spare non working,waking moment until the 3rd week in September! Birthday parties,garage sale,hot air balloon ride,babysitting and a weekend away junkin fills the schedule so quickly. Vern is the "lucky" one who gets to take a hot air balloon ride with his Mom. I hate heights. He is a good son ;)
Me. Happy. Attempting to make my first tutu for a very special 5 year old on her birthday! Medication free for 2 months and feeling great. Still finding my "balance" emotionally and physically but remembering what my life was like before I went numb. A little freaked at how numb I had become (and I was on a low dose!) and didn't realize it.  Trying to put my energy into getting Vern and I healthy and having the energy to take on all the new projects that junkin has brought into my life!
Good Night. Thanks for reading this brief blog all the way through....Is all I have left to say.

Just Too Much

I feel a bit obligated to report in after the much anticipated anniversary party. If you were to ask my parents or any of the guests they would tell you that the parties were fabulous and they all had a great time. I couldn't be happier with that end result,goal accomplished.
Here's the weird part...for me,it was the weekend from Hell. The hotel rooms were stinky,filthy or a horrid combo of both.Poor Vern became sick with a dangerous bout of Diverticulitis the first day and suffered miserably until we left to come home a day early to the "comforts" of our local ER in fear we could get stuck in the hospital in Idaho or Spokane for Lord knows how long. After what he has been through this year with his colon,we were both overcome with a helpless fear of so many unknown possibilities.During all of this,we attempted to maintain our plans of cooking and prepping almost all the food for 2 parties. One of the down sides of my occasional over ambitious,control freak habits is that when the shit hits the fan I am the only one who knows how to execute all my elaborate intentions!This was one of those times.It felt like it all just slipped away before I was ready. The time disappeared and the parties happen and...it was all over before I had a chance to enjoy it. What is a family party if I don't take the time to enjoy my family? This hostess gig is so much more complicated than I thought it would be! Then add the fun of 3 adults and 2 dogs in one hotel room for 3 nights. The barking,the air conditioning, the awkwardness of sharing that space with Vern's 19 year old son and a big fabulous hot tub that was too hot to enjoy in the 90 degree heat. I had lost any possible chance at being able to tolerate any other curve ball that came my way....and then.... I broke. Having to say goodbye to David after only a few short hours of time together,torn by the need to get Vern medical care and the unexpected pain that erupted when I once again had to say goodbye to David too soon.Rushing out of the weekend that I had worked so hard on,leaving so many loose ends but anxious to get home to our familiar Doctors and hospital....
Something came over me like I have never experienced before. I cried. I cried for pretty much the entire 8 hour ride home and when I woke up the next morning..I started to cry again. I had so much overwhelming sadness in my heart about all that had happened. I think back and my heart literally cringes at some of the things I said or felt because I was overwhelmed. And I did it all to myself. My inexperience with this type of party planning and my over the top expectations ended up being my demise. My unpredictable emotions that sometimes appear when I spend time with David. The fear of something..anything hurting the one man I love like no other..it was all too much and this time I didn't even care enough to fake it.
It took me days to start to snap out of it. The last week is a blur and I'm not too sure I am going to try too hard to recall it.I'll try to remember all the good,there was some. Thing is,this was one of those life things that shook me to my core. It introduced me to a dark inner place I'd rather avoid and in other ways,also created growth. I know that with great emotional pain comes enormous emotional growth and I am always honestly thankful for the revelation. This party was not at all how I planned yet it all appeared  as a graceful symphony to those who didn't know better. Hmm perhaps some of the good is...I'm not as horrible at this as I had originally thought ;)

Vacation

In 3 days we leave for Idaho. Yes, my mind is still a whirlwind of all the party preparations and yes... I am still loving every minute of it! So much is done already but still so much to do. I catch my mind wandering off on vacation already. It would much rather plan what I am going to wear or dream of soaking in that huge hot tub adjoined to our room. It's thinking of long drives down dirt roads and a few days with Vern and all 4 of our "kids" (Trevor,David,Chipper and Maxine) making memories as a family. It is fantasizing about a table full of food and deco before the treats are even cooked and the glitter is still wet on the deco!So much to do in the next 3 days yet my lists also include a mani/pedi and a few sessions of tanning. Balance....,it is all about balance right? The good with the bad,the work and the play.So I guess you could say that right now my body knows it needs to work but my mind keeps running off to play. Tomorrow is a big day,baking cupcakes,prepping any food that can be done ahead of time,chocolate coating the truffles,cleaning house,packing and running all sorts of misc errands. Oh but the joy in the voices of my parents...it makes it all so worth it ;)

Exhibit #6 The Grand Finale!

"Junk Mail"! My Carpenter Cross necklace from Girls Gone Junkin arrived in the mail today! I love it when you buy something online and it is even cuter in person. This cross is made from old wooden rulers with some added bling and a chain,I love it so much I think I'm going to order another one...or two ;)

I hope you enjoyed the tour!

Exhibit #5

Klarity gets her ears pierced!

My one and only niece ...

that I adore ...

is getting so grown up! Where did the time go?

She is 13....

and  beautiful....

still so sweet and innocent yet blossoming into a woman right before my eyes!

I love you Klairbear xoxoxoxo

Exhibit #4

Maxine's new dress for her Grandma & Grandpa's 50th anniversary party! Both kids have a groomer appointment the day before we leave and will hopefully still be looking their best by the time we get there!

Exhibit #3

The adorable fountain Vern has made for my Mom out of antique cream separator parts and milk can. I  will post another pic when its done but as always...my loyal blog readers get a sneak peek!

Exhibit #2

This sweet little metal garden bench and its tiny pots of succulents was a one of a kind find!

How About A Gallery Exhibit?

A cell phone gallery that is.... Exhibit #1 - is one of my new junkin pieces that makes my heart pitter patter everytime I look at it hanging over our bed :)

Dreamer

Blessed

Just this evening,I stood on my back porch,Rooibos tea in hand,cigarette in the other and stood in awe of how blessed I am with this life I have. I thought back on the last 3 days and all the awesome things that it produced. Vern and I cleaned the garage and finally began the process of preparing for our future yard sale. 4 hours of work,one load to the dump and a whole lotta reorganizing, created a nice clean garage and a new work/craft bench for me! I LOVE IT! I converted my old salon backbar into a work space and it even has a built in dog bed (shampoo bowl) for Max! I am so happy to have a place to put all my crafty stuff and work on projects,it is truely a dream come true!
We also got started on a few projects for my Parent's upcoming 50th anniversary party. I sorted through hundreds of family photos and began the process of making a slide show..to music..on DVD..for the first time..that we will give my parents and other family members as a gift! No pressure. ;) So far I have found a great collection of forgotten photos that I am so anxious to share! They are all organized and ready to be scanned. The photo scanner,a disaster and a whooole nother' story..thank GOD for Vern as he saved me $100 by digging an old one out of the closet and hooking it up.(the printer is shot but the scanner works great, brilliant!) I don't know what I'd do without that man!
Speaking of Vern...He has been working on a way to make some spare antique cream separator parts into a fountain. Tonight he began the final assembly. Midway through he called me into the garage. "We need to give this to your Mom." I melted <3 Let me backtrack a bit and explain. Last time we went to Idaho, my Mom gave us her antique cream separator. She loved that thing and it sat in the corner of our dining room for 30+ years.We brought it home and Vern cleaned it up and ordered some of it's missing parts on ebay in our attempt to make it as complete and functional as possible. We ended up with some much needed parts and accessories and a few spare parts. One fountain pump,a cottage cheese lid and some scraps of medal later,it's a gorgeous fountain.This is why we would be honored to share with my Mom a smaller and one of a kind memory of the antique she loved so much. And,as I have said one hundred times before about this man of mine,I am so very blessed.
Letting go gets easier with time. I am so grateful that I am in a happy place in my life that makes it easier to let go of "stuff".While in the process of cleaning the garage and going through photos this weekend I also had to face,yet again, the 13 years spent with Ryan and the heart breaking memories of losing David. It was everywhere. But this time it was different. Now I realize that keeping every writing project or coloring page David ever made isn't going to bring him back. And for a rare moment I feel like "normal Mother" as I realize all women with children probably feel the same twinge of pain when they see those tiny clothes and scribbled "I love you's" from a child that is grown and will never return to that small sweet little person you try so hard to preserve in those boxes. As for the memories of Ryan,they don't hurt anymore. I learned something by going through 60 years of family photos,we all have an "ex". A person or time in our life that was unpleasant or embarrassing. For me, it is someone who reminds me of how far I've come and it overwhelms me with the gratitude I feel for all the blessings I have now.
By now my tea is cold and my cigarette is long burnt out. I took a deep breath and it smelled like Alyssum and rain. Our beautiful yard in bloom,our furbabies perched on the porch,not at all excited about having to go out in wet grass (imagine that? And these poor dogs live in WA?! One would think...?). My new craft bench calling me to come play,a handsome man that loves me to kiss goodnight...and I am still standing in awe of how blessed I am with this life I have ;)

Out

Maxine passed out in my arms after a long day at the Vet. Spayed and teeth cleaning wears a girl out!

Who Me?

Format

• Until life slows down a little,it will have to be blogged about in bullet format.
• The furbabies are good. Maxine survived her spay and teeth cleaning and Chipper is almost completely healed from his scratched eye and ear infection. Just a few more appointments and then hopefully we are done with the Vet for awhile! (She's great and all,it's just expensive!)
• We are junkers. There I admitted it. Not garbage,not hoarders,Junkers. But...Anything rusty,chipped,weathered,galvanized or just old and deserves a new life qualifies. I even have antiques coming from a gal on the East Coast! That's another thing I love about junking...the stuff has a story. Even if it's just a great story of where I found it,how I repurposed it or how little I paid for it...that just doesn't happen at Ikea.
• I am in the midst of some seriously exciting party planning for my Parent's 50th wedding anniversary. Thanks to my recently found love of party planning I am exploding with more ideas for perfect food and deco than one weekend of parties can handle! Plus I am finding more and more ways to premake food to keep it easy yet gourmet and decorations on a thrifty budget that looks like a million!
• I (We) recently purchased a new laptop. My very first brand new computer. It is so smart...crazy smart..but that's good because I am not the best at this computer thing. Now I finally have a place to store all of my recipes,photos,music,files etc. plus a great tool for helping me keep my business organized. *Sigh of relief*
• The new health regime is going great! After 3 weeks of ups and downs I am finally "melting" away and feeling great! It just took me some time to learn how to make it work for me in a way that I can be successful. Yes I'd love to lose weight faster but for now I am satisfied with losing 10 lbs in 3 weeks and all my clothes fitting better.
• I think that's it for now...it's getting to be that time of night when logical typeable thoughts escape me. Nighty night ;)

A Few Little Goodies

Motivate

Do it.

Get up and make it happen.

No excuses,

no waiting.

Now.

Dig deep,

find your strength

and breath.

You got this.

You CAN do this.

You WILL do this.

Start to finish.

No shortcuts,

no cheating,

no doubts,

only 100% commitment,

loyalty

and dedication.

Because more than anything,

you need to prove it to yourself that you can do it.

With great sacrifice comes great reward.

Do it.

Happening in our lives lately...

Many trips to the Vet. Chipper had scratched his eye playing in the wheat fields of Idaho (just when I take a moment to quit being a control freak and let the kids run and have some fun in the country) so it was a week of eye drops for that,all healed. Then his on and off ear issues required another round of ear meds for a few weeks,so far so good on week one,recheck in two weeks. While we were there we also had his yearly boosters and wellness exam done. Chipper needs to lose 1 1/2 pounds and he needs his teeth cleaned and one pulled,poor guy! As for Maxine,she also needs her teeth cleaned but not as badly,we caught hers before it got bad. She also got her yearly boosters and check up and these days she is weighing in at 5.7 pounds,just perfect! The part I dread... Maxine goes in for her spay on Monday. *dramatic sigh with frown*. I ask you all say a little prayer for us on Monday as our baby girl goes in for surgery. I have been reassured she will be well monitored and given the best care....and I know millions of dogs have this done everyday but..but...As a Mother,I worry just the same,this is my baby.

EBay. How much fun is that?! Wow,watched Vern bid on a few parts for our antique cream separator last week. Until then I never really understood exactly how EBay works. The first auction we bid on was heart wrenching as the item was bid out from under neath us at the last second = TOTAL BUMMER and me not too crazy about the "unfairness" of it all. "I really wanted that sign! Not fair! That guy was mean! He can't do that!? EBay sucks..."So a few days later we bid on a different item and returned the favor,sweeping in to grab it for cheap at the last minute=VICTORY and me anxious to hunt down all sort of great stuff for low prices!

As for my new healthy eating plan I lost 7 pounds and 11 inches the first 4 days! Yay! I was told the first 4 days were the worst and thankfully it was true. Day 5,6 and 7 have been a breeze (for the most part)! The evening headaches are finally gone, the cravings are minimal and the numerous ounces of water are getting easier and easier to drink. Today I forced myself to get off my butt and walk and as always,I was so glad I did. So glad in fact, that with Vern's encouragement, we took another walk this evening! Two "work outs" in ONE day...who am I???!! ha ha (And yes I am taking weekly  "before" photos that I will post someday with all my fabulous "after" photos)

And a little funny in my world I thought I'd share...I think I am the only person I know that would purchase "50 Shades Of Grey" and my monthly birth control refill in the same transaction in my small town pharmacy. LOL! Didn't even phase me until I walked out and then had a good laugh.
Disclaimer: I don't usually read smutty books,heck I don't usually read books period. BUT,I cannot deny my curiosity of the popularity of this book. It just seems like everyone is talking about it...and I want to know what all the fuss is about. I will let you know what I think of it...if I ever start or finish it.

Change

Just checking in...I am currently surviving one of those life moments where everything feels like it is coming at me all at once.The healthy changes continue yet leave my brain at a loss of anything readable by the end of the day. Change is hard. Attitude really is everything.
For the last few weeks I have been cutting a few of my bad habits and attempting to eat healthier. Now I am on day 2 of a whole body cleansing and nourishing plan and so far so good. 2 days of ZERO coffee and soda and I am still alive! I have really had to dig my big girl panties out for this one! (Thank GOD I still have them!) But I KNOW that I can do ANYTHING I set my mind to and I want to be healthy! Let me rephrase that..I AM GOING TO GET HEALTHY! Forever...
I am doing my best to stay focused and my anxiety is completely rattled by so many changes. I am happy to say I am working through it and the lack of coffee has really eliminated my highs and lows throughout the day. I am so thankful to finally have a simple way to get healthy and rid my body of all the toxins I have ingested for 34 years. The other bonus of course is weight loss,I am pretty excited about that too :) So be patient with me if I don't blog much,my little brain is full!

I Love You Because...

You check the washer and throw the load of laundry I forgot about (again) in the dryer.

You will eat half cooked Hamburger Helper with me in an attempt to have dinner together,even though I have to jump up half way through it and run back to work.

You will let me wear your fuzzy new sweatshirt I bought you before you do.

Sometimes you ask me what I am doing and question it,not because you doubt my intelligence but because you have learned that I am prone to getting in over my own head on a project,holiday,camping trip etc. and you help keep me level headed.

The above being said..once the plan is made you jump right in and always support me 100% while always helping any way you can.

You can't walk by me without touching me.

I know it would make your day to see just one hummingbird in the yard.

You call the town where I grew up Home too.

Of the amazing things we create when we put our heads together. Smoked (by Vern) Ricotta + My Mom's Lasagna Recipe (made by me with a little Alfredo twist)=The BEST Lasagna I have ever eaten!

You spend over an hour trying to fish out the air freshener that I accidentally dropped in the vents on the dash of the truck. Never once complaining at me or letting me feel bad and instead insisting it was no big deal as you successfully fished it out and shared a good laugh at how great the truck smells.

I still melt every time I look into those big blue eyes of yours.

You love me for me. Trust me,I know it isn't always easy and I know without doubt you are the most patient man I know but thank you,a million times over for loving me,all of me,with all of your heart <3



The Hungry Silence Explained

I may not be blogging much,I have survived the first 3 days of "healthy lifestyle changes" and it's not easy....I don't like the word "diet". Diet to me is temporary,what I need to do has to be permanent for it to be worth it. But no matter what you call it I am uncomfortably overweight and finally ready to change....for good. I know what I need to do although, I enjoy learning more all the time,the Internet is full of healthy people,who knew?lol  

So for now I am giving up my daily triple shot,white chocolate breve and trying to convince myself that a cup of drip and a little breakfast is better. I have also limited my soda to one a day and have been drinking the recommended dose of water. I am walking,so far 2.8 miles once a week but that needs to be multiplied 3-4 times for me to be successful.(On the bright side... I have used the opportunity to also spend time with friends and establish some new healthy friendships!) My body is still convinced it needs more calories and it begs for them all day long. I now know what fat sounds like when it cries,it doesn't want to go..I have no sympathy! 

Plus I am tired,holy cow am I tired...I finally gave in and had a nap today. The 2.8 mile walk and 80 degree weather kicked my butt! And after 3 days of all this..the scale hasn't moved. I know it is silly to be even the least bit disappointed after only a few days but seeing some progress would be very encouraging right about now when I am being tested and tempted and...strong in so many ways I am personally so proud of. So I will keep trying,changing,and feeling better. This is the worst,the first few days of kicking a few bad habits and making changes. I know the results will come,I just got to keep trying.

Universal Windows

Vern and I sat on the back porch this morning,finally deciding how to spend our afternoon. Garage sailing yesss! On a side note,last weekend I we went also and I had in my mind a few specific things I wanted. Crafty splurge kinda things. Coincidentally I found everything I wanted and more for super cheap! Yesss! Vern was jealous ;) So today I figured it wouldn't hurt to send out my requests before we started shopping. I looked up to the sky and said "I really need a few more old windows to make a little greenhouse in our garden...please?" Vern and I smirked at each other and went about our day.

 It was a sunny Sunday afternoon but garage sales were surprisingly hard to come by. On our final loop through town we were close to giving up when we saw a bright yellow garage sale sign. Being that is one of only a few we had seen all day we decided to give it a try. Well kept culdesac,cute log A-frame house and a sale full of stuff where nothing was marked...? Huh? Frustrating. The lady running the sale was literally running her butt off trying to keep up with customers asking her questions. I was happy with a prize I found quickly,an old galvanized watering can with the spout broken off for 50 cents. I nearly called it a day when something told me to look a bit more........ and there they were...3 windows,same size,no cracks.metal framed (unlike the old shabby chic ones I already have) and PERFECT for what we need! Sweet! In an attempt to score a good deal I asked her what she'd take for all 3 of them. Much to my surprise I scored better than I had ever thought,her husband said I could have them for FREE!! YAY!! (Yes I know 3 doesn't sound like enough but it is!) Vern approved because they were going to make this project easier for him (the actual greenhouse builder) too. Win win,that's the way I like it!( Fast forward a few hours later and our new greenhouse is the new home to 4 pepper plants all snuggled in it's warm protection. *happy sigh*)

  On our way home I was reminded that my request had been fulfilled. 3 better windows than I asked for and for FREE! I am so thankful! We had a chuckle at the thought of my answered request,even if it was just for some old windows,it was granted. As I have been known to say "The Universe can't give you what you want if you don't ask." Just don't bother asking for winning lottery tickets,I've tried that and it doesn't quite work the same ;)

Status

Today summed up in my Facebook status:

"officially impressed with our borrowed Kitchen Aid mixer (thank you Shannon Long)! For all of you that have one plus the meat grinding attachment,use it! We turned tough steaks into BEAUTIFUL hamburger! Now some of it has been turned into jerky that is getting all yummy in the smoker! Oh and on a side note..last night we tried Rachael Ray's "Chicken Fried Hamburgers" yes you read that right...so bad but sooo good!"

"Pineapple Sage and plants for the garden,mini greenhouse made out of free windows we found at a garage sale,a new Shepard's hook and a spray paint face lift for some old planter buckets...we have our work cut out for us ;)"

Love,Sleep,Eat,Work...Rinse And Repeat

Depression and bravery. Two words I wouldn't usually use together but tonight,they apply. I always appreciate when people blog from the heart and so I will take my turn and shine a bright light in a very dark place in my life. Depression. It is harder to admit and talk about than I thought. Bravery. What I realize is required in order to talk about it...let alone blog about it...for the WHOLE world to see.

I kept expecting depression to be like it looked on TV. Sadness,irritability,loneliness or even physically painful. Sure it's all those things but it is also in the little things that they don't mention.

Depression is...

Your head spinning 16 hours a day on everything other than what you should be thinking.

Over analyzing that you are thinking about the wrong things.

Starting to stress because you are too busy thinking all the wrong things and not really getting anything actually done.

Avoiding outings because most of the time the world outside of the yard is too intimidating to explore as you are already mentally exhausted from the above process that happens every. day.

You are fully aware of the expectations placed on you by life in general, the eating,the grooming and personal relations to name a few..but what if everyday you had to convince yourself to function? Exhausting at best. What usually drives me is waiting until the last minute and being blessed with a job to keep my accountable.This also means I spend most of my mornings running to work with wet hair in a ponytail at the last minute. Great way to start the day? Hardly.

A "Can Do!" attitude with "Can't Do" results or a people pleaser who is too stubborn to help herself.

Trying dozens of prescriptions,herbal supplements,breathing techniques,coping skills,doctors and the like just to achieve a manageable level of function. That in itself,is extremely frustrating.

Playing the part. It is the pressure to continue to be the person people know you to be even though you feel like a stranger living inside your own body. Trying to explain to others how that feels and trying not to make them question your sanity.It is just easier to play the part. Love,sleep,eat,work...rinse and repeat.

And remember..all the while,you are still mentally exhausted before the day even starts.

Is not all that I am all the time. I am happy,my life is good,I am surrounded by wonderful people and I have my faith. I know I am blessed,I focus more on the good than the bad and I PRAY,Lord knows I pray!!

.

.

.

Depression is...

Something I struggle with but not something I will let get the best of me :) 

Letter from a Mother to a Daughter:

 "My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting ...old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionaly lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter. "

                            Happy Mother's Day!

Bless My Bloomers

For the last few weeks my mind and efforts have been distracted by my green thumb. The time of year when I envy the semi retired women making minimum wage at WalMart because they get to spend their days in the greenhouse talking about flowers. I love flowers and I LOVE gardening. It is one hobby that I have yet to get bored with. Maybe it's the challenge,the waiting,the hard work or a combo of it all. So what is happening in my yard this year you ask? I'd  be happy to tell you! (until I can post some current pictures)

The hens and chicks are continuing to overcome their' garden. Spilling out of old fountains,pots and small aquariums and climbing over stumps,beach rocks,drift wood and sea shells. A ceramic frog peeks at you out of his "good eye" as a pale ceramic fairy plays her tune on a mushroom drum. A few escapees have grown under the fence but they are such a cute greeting to passers by we can't bare to pull them. We have much faith that this will be the year the succulent garden will fill in and connect to cover any trace of the ground below. To think that when I met Vern 4 years ago I found this little garden of his unusual and now I am fertilizing to make it grow even more because I love them too!

The raspberries have exploded in a huge garden box. I knew they would be better the second year but holy moly it's growing like crazy! We just might get more than a few handful of raspberries this year,this pleases me tremendously!

Today I finally added blueberries to the large garden box next to the raspberries. I meant to do it last year and never got around to it. I may have just made up for lost time... and it all started with one plant..... called "Bluecrop" at Walmart.



Bluecrop



 Sweet,that was cheap and simple! Blueberry-check! But thennn... the gal working in the greenhouse said she had heard you need to plant 2 types of blueberries together to have lots of happy berries. I wanted to assume she was some kind of blueberry pusher but then realized WalMart only carried one type.I consulted my smart phone and learned she was right. We were off to Home Depot. This little project was suddenly growing but I was determined to finish it this time. Much to my surprise Home Depot had TWO other types of blueberries! SCORE! The "Duke" and "Pink Lemonade". The Duke being exactly what I needed (another "typical" looking blueberry)

The Duke

 and the Pink Lemonade

Pink Lemonade

 was something I had never seen before,it supposedly produces sweet pink berries...instant dilemma! I stood there,a bucket in each hand,my brain hurt,a horrible smelling dog had licked me (a story for another time) and I wanted to go home and get planting. $7 each,one 5 foot long planter to plant them in and fear of unknown future berry invasion...I threw caution to the wind and bought them both! I basked in my berry induced high the whole way home.3 different types of blueberries,go Me ;) I took special care prepping the garden box. I added a bag of my best potting soil,tilled it all up,tore out chives and Calla Lily bulbs for transplanting and fertilized. I spaced them just perfectly,covered them carefully and watered them in.I stood back to admire my work and then it hit me. I just planted THREE BLUEBERRY PLANTS! I looked to my left at the garden box of raspberries climbing the trellis and fence and growing more and more each week. What seems like hundreds of new sprouts coming out of the dirt...what have I done?! That was ONE plant.I look back to my right at the garden box of blueberries. Three sweet little innocent sticks coming out of the ground, covered in itty bitty green leaves....harmless right? Blueberries might not get as big as raspberries...right? RIGHT?! I am comforted as I remind my self that I knew well enough to contain them and that's also why I chose blueberries over blackberries. Too evasive for me and my small yard! Also I can prune the heck out of them so they don't get out of hand and they'll keep coming back. AND last but not least my "inner prepper" is also excited about all the ways I can cook with and preserve them! Tragedy averted...right?

The garden sits lonely and neglected for now as the huge blooming Rosemary steals the show on that side of the house. I think it has finally found it's forever home in the old dryer drum,with an old weathered window propped behind it to tie in my attempts at shabby chic. This small side yard is my only full sun area and will soon be full of all my precious sun seeking perennials that I purchased with the promise that they would attract butterflies and hummingbirds.For now it has the sprouts of a few newbies. A Parrot Vine is new to me this year,it will be exciting to see if this frail light green sprout will grow to a vine with Parrot beak looking red flowers. It grows next to a Mum from my friend Sonja who had the wonderful tea party for me last fall. She is always so thoughtful and such a dear friend. And in the front row are my 4 little mysteries. Somehow I lost their tag in transit so for now I am left guessing what will grow from these fuzzy,long,round leaves.It will need to be a bit spectacular to steal the fragrant show from the Lilac looming above.Finally after 34 years,I finally have a blooming Lilac of my own! No more stalking the neighbor's Lilacs out front,slowly walking by,strangely close to her fence to inhale the sweet aroma as deeply and discretely as tact will allow. It is so liberating to have one of my own to enjoy as often as I please,there are few smells I love more.

The newest addition to the yard is the garden bed Vern made me in front of the deck wall. Since this is where we put the fountain we decided to spruce it up a bit.Now it is nicely framed in with wood and filled with red columbine and some bright yellow and green grass that surround our big bubbling fountain.The lighted peacock that I scored at Christmas time has found it's place in there too. It's so unusual and beautiful at night as the blue and purple LED lights reflect off the water on the fountain.Off in the dark corner is the glow of a frog as he hides just a few feet from a funky wire and glass rabbit. My child like nature becomes so apparent when I get creative...

The other side of the yard has a similar flower bed but it is much longer and gets much more sun. This is where I try to get away with all my "Part shade" flowers. It's hit and miss at best. So far I have been lucky with some Geraniums that I picked up at the local Garden Club plant sale.In one year they have grown and spread like crazy which is fine with me because they are pink and purple.I also took a chance on some bulbs I found at Grocery Outlet last fall. They shocked me when they not only grew but have bloomed the prettiest daffodils with ruffly petals,a white layer on the outside and a peachy pink center. My faith in bulbs has now been renewed since I have had such horrible luck with them in the past. I filled the empty spots in this flower bed with a Dahlia (that I am trying for a third time) and another perennial I forgot the name of (but have bought before a few years ago and nearly killed but it's barely hangin on.) but so far it's bright pink flowers give me hope. (I am digging it up soon to put next to the other one and replacing it with a Daylily that I am giving a chance off the clearance rack (yes I am a glutton for punishment)). Last but not least in an attempt to tie in my love for french Cottage style gardens we added some short white columns we found at a yard sale last year. I topped them with  pretty urn shaped pots containing a combo of deco grass,sweet potato vine and fuscias to name a few.Now all I am missing is a few chunks of moss to put under the pots and give it that old,overgrown look. Moss...oh how I lovehate moss. I love it as deco but NOT in our lawn! We bought our first thatch rake today,again,I am aware that I am a glutton for punishment. This begins phase 3 in our battle with the moss. Now that we own miss killer and a thatch rake..I just might stand a chance. I don't know why it bothers me so much but..it does! Again,perhaps part of the appeal of gardening is the challenge.

As my mental tour contiues,over the sidewalk,past the succulent garden and over to the shade gardens I must confess that this area of the yard is where I almost have met my gardening demise. I learned to love Hostas,coleus and ferns as I accepted the slim selection of hearty full shade plants.It's also a great place for our old bench and a small wagon of driftwood that hides the pipes and utillity boxes.Aside from a very cute old wash bin full of flowers under the dining room window...that's it. So once again,I am taking my chances. I spread 2 packets of shade flower mix all over that shady flower bed. I also have 2 packs of Columbine seeds in the refrigerator getting ready to plant there too. I love Columbine and honestly...if only one grows..I'll be happy.

Perhaps we can explore the front yard another day but this concludes my tour for now. For those of you who read my ramblings here to the end,I hope I gave you a little vacation in your day :) I