Wait for it...waaaait for it...

It's time for me to stop accepting "good enough" and start making things happen. Time to challenge myself and do something that makes me a little afraid. Time to accept defeats and use them as fuel to push me forward. Time to have a little faith in myself. Time to admit outloud that I KNOW I can do anything I set my mind to but I know it takes hard work and I have gotten by too long in lazy auto pilot mode.

So....I look to those that matter most. I thank God for always leading me in the right direction. He has been whispering softly in my ear and guiding me and I know he will continue to walk with me- Building bridges when I am scared to jump,safeguarding my faith if I begin to doubt and providing a quiet place to collect my thoughts.

I thank Vern,for having enough faith in me for the both of us. Although the terms seems a bit cliche,he is my rock because he makes me feel safe and secure. My Prince Charming because he honestly makes me feel like a Princess in a fairy tale on a daily basis by understanding that it's the little things that count. And my Soul Mate. I know we were made for eachother and although I have been mistaken before,I know this is true love.

And last but not least,my parents. They have always been my biggest fans. I also appreciate that...even though I am 34 they are not afraid to question or lecture me when needed. Every kid,no matter how old,needs to know they have some boundaries...somebody has to be brave enough to ask the hard questions but also be charismatic enough to do it with loving intentions.

So I am giving you blog followers this news before anyone else. I/we will be making a big exciting announcement in mid March! Stay tuned!

On Strike

or possibly just premenstrual...

That same time every month when my roommates turn into lazy slobs,people are extra stupid and irritating on Facebook and well pretty much everywhere and I lack few nice thoughts worth repeating. It's laughable really. This little angry monster that shows up to clench my heart and shout in my belly with a convincing charm that makes me feel the need to vocalize all the things that are bugging me at the moment.

And now here's the part where I whine...I also have a cold,the aches and a whole box of generic Nyquil that just isn't helping. My lips are chapped and my ears are plugged. My body us exhausted but my brain is wide awake...ugh.

I can only hope that I wake up tomorrow feeling a little bit...or aLOT better.

Home Sweet Yurt

Our newest adventure brought us to a yurt in Grayland State Park this weekend. It was so fun! We wanted a quick and cheap way to sneak away for the night before Vern has to return to work this week and to take a break from some of the current pressures and excitement of my career. No TV,no plumbing,bunk beds and all the electricity you could enjoy on 50 watts of power in a round hut made of super durable canvas wrapped around a frame that looks like a bionic trellis. I'd be lying if I said we were roughing it..more like it made us feel like kids again. The wind and rain blew sideways outside pretty much the whole time but it was fun to "roll" up the window shade and watch the storm (above photo) whip through the campground while listening to huge waves crashing on the nearby beach. We bought our dinner at a mini mart down the road. Chips and salsa,bbq pork with sesame seeds and hot mustard,crackers... and smoked cheese,pork and bbq sauce home made by Vern. It was delicious and simple, just as we had hoped. We ended the night with some chocolatey brownies and some hilarious shadow puppets before we rearranged the furniture and created a make shift king size bed. It wasn't great but it wasn't any worse than some of the hotels/ guest beds I've slept in. I found the sound of rain hitting the side of the tent put me right to sleep and was a welcome sound when I was feeling restless during the night.

I woke to the bright daylight pouring through the clear plastic dome on the roof. After a short,cold sprint to the bathrooms  with Maxine tucked in my sweatshirt,I poured myself a cup of coffee and began to anticipate a hot shower. Vern got me enough tokens for 12 minutes of campground shower bliss and if I had hot water I planned on frivolously using up every last second of it! But much to my disappointment,my shower fantasy was cut short when the power went out on my way to the showers. Crap. So I bathed with a bottle of water in the yurt and we headed on our way home. We had to take the long way because the highway was closed due to the fatality accident that had knocked out the power. Stores and houses were dark for miles as we wound down the coast looking for a latte stand with power. This spoiled northwest girl needs her coffee! It rained...and poured....and blew...all.day.long. but the coast was gorgeous and we were in no hurry to get back to reality. We ended the relaxing part of the trip with a burger and fries before merging onto the busy highway home.

It was a perfect way to reconnect with Vern after many weeks of stress. We talked and laughed like only we do when we are alone. We rolled into the driveway happy and exhausted. Oh and when I finally got that long hot shower,it was a lot longer than 12 minutes ;)

Love.

Love.

I got to spend all of today with my Valentine. He showered me with thoughtful gifts. He humored me as I requested window shopping at Home Depot to research if I was trying to force caviar tastes into a hamburger budget in my deco ideas. The internet is full of so many crafty people and DIY ideas ,that a regular gal like me has to wonder what the reality of it is...My fears were eased as I realized that things like moulding,paint and rugs will be cheaper than I thought! Yay! We walked away with a few house supplies and a few more "treats" for me in the form of my very first leaf rake and 2 small cans of "oops" paint.

We finished our outing at Wallly's Drive In Diner for an early dinner of awesome fish and chips. It was a sunny day and it felt so good to get out of the house and return with full tummies.

We spent the rest of the day making reservations for the weekend. We ended up with an adorable little yurt at the beach. The last month has been full of highs and lows but the worst is finally behind us....I hope! So we are headed off to celebrate a year full of new beginnings as Vern looks forward to returning to work on Monday and I am looking for a new job opportunity. (My current job is in jeopardy because I don't cut hair fast enough for the company's standards. It doesn't matter that I am always booked and requested more than any of my coworkers...I have to do it all in 30 minutes or nothing else matters. So as you can probably see,this relationship needs to end,it was great while it lasted and by golly change is difficult and risky but..it's time.)

We retired to our room for the rest of our evening,watching a funny movie and sharing a box of chocolates,just the way we like it :)

It was a perfect day spent with the perfect person! Now that's love....

Blessed

The blessings we have experienced in the last two weeks have been too numerous to count. The biggest and best news is that the surgery went perfectly and Dr. Atkinson was able to reattach Vern's colon without a problem. He had to remove 12 inches of his colon. It still amazes me that we have that much or more to spare! 8 days total in the hospital and I got to bring my precious cargo home. Vern is doing great,recovering in leaps and bounds!

The Hospital-We were blessed that our town recently built a fancy new hospital with private rooms. Hospitals are almost impossible to sleep in which is ironic because the people that are there need to rest?! I was thankful for the recliner that the nurses snuck out of the OB ward for me to sleep in after Vern's surgery...oh and that stack of warm blankets from the blanket oven,heavenly ;) As for Vern it was a long frustrating stay filled with worry,pain and then cabin fever. By the time I brought him home we were both so excited we cried.

Our Nurses-First it was Norma the "highballer". We had her the first night after we got moved up from the emergency room. We were exhausted and still in a bit of shock so her apparent incompetence almost went overlooked. We later found out that quickly pushing meds into an IV is called high balling and is done by drug addicts and nurses in a hurry. Nice. Poor Vern would get a hot rush through his body and then tingle through a bout of nausea after she administered his meds. We never saw Norma again after that and that was the end of horrible staff. After that we met Shelly,she became like a mother figure to us while we were there. She is probably in her early 60's and works harder than the Nurses half her age but you always knew when Shelly was on shift because she left a whirlwind of mess behind her. She hated to be bothered with wrappers,knobs etc as she was more concerned with patient comfort...but it was humorous. Since our time in the hospital Shelly has come to see me for a haircut and loved it! I hope to keep in touch with her for a long time. Last but not least our favorite team of male nurses,Brandon and Jeff. The best way to explain them is that they were like typical men..but nurses. Caring and concerned yet also efficient and thorough. Jeff gets special kudos from me because he is the one that tracked down the recliner and warm blankets for me while Brandon took awesome care of Vern.Brandon was easily "won over" with blue (raspberry) Jolly Ranchers and admitted often that he enjoyed his rounds in our room as we joked and ate candy. Apparently the hospital can be a pretty depressing place to work. I understand now why Doctors etc charge what they do...they deserve it. They work hard. I could ramble on and tell you about Tonya the feisty one that made us laugh,Megan,the pretty young nurse (and a really funny catheter story) who was kind yet new and uneasy. How does one make it through Nursing school without learning how to properly dress and wound?! But she was nice...and gentle (so I hear... LOL!) It was a strange feeling to be so happy to get away from people we had honestly grown to enjoy.

The Recovery-Vern has a long scar the starts above his belly button and extends down into his pelvic area. He says it is tender and sore and at first it was bumpy and swollen. He has been great about taking it easy and getting lots of rest. The first 24-48 hours after he came home he was restricted to a liquid diet and then eventually low fiber. For his "first"meal he requested a plain chicken breast and mashed potatoes and I happily obliged. The first taste he had, literally almost brought a tear to his eye after he had been tube fed and on liquids for almost 2 weeks. A week later at his pre op appointment Vern's surgeon also "mentioned" in conversation that he had also removed Vern's appendix. Dr Atkinson is a wonderful surgeon but how do you visit a patient 4 days in a row after surgery and forget to tell them them that you removed more body parts that originally planned?! Did he charge us? Did we get a 2 for 1 special in the OR? ha ha

I have typed away at this blog post for weeks now..saving because I was too tired to finish and post and then always something new to add. Thank you all for the prayers,love,support,flowers,meals,hugs and more! Now we are more motivated than ever to get out and enjoy life while also getting healthy :)

Really Bad Sh*t....Literally

I feel like I should write about this time in our life while the details are still fresh but I am too exhausted physically and emotionally to compose anything proper...
After a few weeks of suffering from tummy troubles,Vern finally went to the Dr.. Many tests later,Vern was bracing himself to survive his first colonoscopy due to suspected Diverticulitis.
Wednesday evening his Dr called us at home and told us to head to the ER because he was concerned about the results of Vern's CT scan. So,we packed our bags and headed over. It's not very often that you get to walk into the ER and say "Hello,I'm Vern,I think you are expecting me?" and the receptionist says "Vern...oh yes,your Dr called we are ready for you."
After a few hours in ER getting admitted,he was moved to a room upstairs as we were told to settle in for a few days of IV antibiotics. Due to his Diverticulitis,part of his colon had become infected,then ruptured causing a hole in his colon that had begun to wall itself off and block outflow. Mess. A huge mess. My poor sweet man was suddenly faced with weeks in the hospital,surgery,recovery.

And that wasn't even the WORST news....
In cases as extreme as Vern's the infected part of the colon needs to be removed and the possibility of the surgeon being able to reattach it at the same time is highly unlikely.That means a coloscopy bag for a few months so the body can heal and then another surgery later to reattach the colon.

Thursday was a rough day. Shock. Tears. Hugs. Tons of phone calls,texts,facebook comments and messages. Our friends and family have been so amazingly supported and have provided a much needed source of strength. The last 48 hours have been educational to say the least. All the IV hoses and machines are becoming a lot less intimidating as we don't hesitate to hit the "silence" button when it beeps constantly for no reason. Finicky machine! We know what every IV bag is full of and what it's doing as the Nurse's appreciate our input as the shifts change every 6-8 hours and we keep them up to date. We walk the halls of our floor a few times a day,it's hard for Vern to sit in bed all day and we are trying to take advantage of it while we can because it looks like surgery is tomorrow. Vern is such a good sport,strolling the halls in his camo slippers,athletic shorts and hospital robe. Rolling his IV machine in front of him with one hand and holding my hand with the other.

So I end this blog for now,I should've been asleep hours ago...
Prayers are appreciated,we really need them tomorrow. We will get through this and everything will be fine... or so I keep telling myself.
 Man,I really need a hug.