Spring is here! My favorite time of year! I am realizing that I really enjoy all the typical Spring events. Spring cleaning,gardening and even lawn de-mossing just to name a few. I have scrubbed,shoveled,planted and shined my way through about half of those duties so far. I have the broken nails,sore back and sun burnt shoulders to prove it oh but it feels so good! I refuse to deny myself the intoxicating spell that this time of year puts me under.

Things have changed a bit around here..Trevor moved back in with his Mother. Although Vern and I were a little sad we know it is for the best and time for him to take this step. He will be 20 at the end of summer and is still at a standstill in his life. Growing up is hard...so is parenting.

I am finally starting to settle in at my new job. Although I love it very much there has been quite a learning curve as I adjust to more responsibility and so many new things to learn. My coworkers have been absolutely fabulous about making me feel welcome and patiently answering all my questions. My clients are all supporting me 100% and so far I am convinced that this was a verrrrry smart decision.

Chipper and Maxine,the two cutest furbabies on the planet!We recently celebrated Chipper's 8th birthday this April! Where does the time go?! That boy of ours has grown to be such an amazing companion and also in the last year,an awesome big brother! Maxine,our little Princess. She is now one and half years old and ALL girl! She is so cute and irresistible it is hard to discipline her or not pick her up (because she likes to be held all. the.time.) How can you not find room in your arms for 6 fluffy pounds of love and fur?! I am so thankful to have Vern in my life both as my partner and a father to these two rambunctious kids of ours,I couldn't do it without him! 

A little birdie has mentioned that an engagement is also in the air this year ;) I hesitate to mention it before it actually happens but I just have to tell someone!!  I am so ready to be his wife but I am so unprepared for any serious wedding planning! I do know one thing...it will be simple. I waited 30 years to find this man and 4 years for him to ask me to be his wife,everything else is minor details.

I'm Elmo and I Know It Parody

Right Now

Right now...
My back is sore and my cheeks are pink from a long week of unexpected sunshine and yard work and it feels great!
I LOVE my new job!
I am on the verge of actually starting two room make overs and a few yard projects that I am very excited about!
I have stood up for myself a few times in the last week,it wasn't easy and my honesty hurt some feelings but had to be done.
I have a new hobby-miniature gardening.
We are both feeling healthy and we are so very grateful.
It's a cold,rainy day.
I have been up since 5am.
I am drinking the last bit of a triple shot latte and trying to decide if I want to take a long hot shower..
or start tackling the house work...or..
I could just stay here in bed,Maxine all snuggled up at my hip and waste the day away on-line...but..
that's not likely ;)

My Fancy Rubbers

I really don't have even the smallest love for shoes or shoe shopping but....I could not resist these cuties! Cowboy style RUBBER boots! I LOVE them! Not sure how they'll handle the sand,er I mean ,how I will handle that little heel..in the sand...? Lol! Testing them out this weekend!

Heart Ache

My heart hurts. Not heart attack hurt but it literally hurts. I think perhaps He is once again providing me a growth spurt. Lucky me. I am thankful,really I am! To be able to have faith that, what may seem like negatives are really many positives in the making. That being said,the process can also be long and painful. Literally. Sure it was really just 2 parents displaying a little tough love,confronting their teen to try to motivate. But we all know that sometimes things hit you at a deeper level. That was me today. Deep. Stuck here in my own head,thinking. Faced with obstacles that shake me to the core. All of a sudden life was so big and I felt very small. I honestly questioned who I am. I'm still not sure. I know who I am in the inside but I think somewhere its getting lost in translation...? I just don't think I am projecting myself correctly on the outside? So,I step back and I try to learn. I can humbly accept defeat when I take it as an opportunity to grow. But what do I do when I am stuck between defeat and growth? That weird gray area where I just feel defeated...and my heart hurts? When it involves the one person you love like no other?! I guess my answer is that I blog. It's like a friend who always listens to,agrees with and remembers everything I say. So I come here and spill....and usually,I find some answers or at least feel a little better. Tonight being one of those rare times where I just dont have any answers and I don't feel a little better and strangely.....I am content with that. My normal defense mechanism at this point is to put up a wall or shut down or find a solution or throw out unreasonable demands or...and I don't know if its age or defeat or hurt but....it's different this time. This time changed me and I can only pray that whatever comes from it is worth it.

"When you're at your weakest, you really may be at your strongest. That's where God can really use you."

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Yep,That's More Like It

Whatta week! I want to tell how amazing my new job is but I almost don't know where to start! My coworkers have made me feel so welcome and have been a huge help as I learn my way around. My clients are keeping my schedule full and loving the new place too! As the week has gone by I am feeling more confident than ever that I made the right decision. This is all such a blessing!

It hasn't all been easy. Getting used to my cell phone ringing all.day .long. Then,there is the voice mails,e-mails,text,Facebook...all while I secretly pray that I don't mess up while I learn a new color line,credit machine,etc etc. Change is hard! Especially for my anxiety ridden,OCD, control freak self! Giving up never crossed my mind but small seeds of doubt grew.

And then today came. I kept my schedule light and took the afternoon off to run errands. I don't know where my second wind came from but I suddenly had the urge to cook and clean and work on all the things I have neglected at home. Spaghetti dinner,mini cheese cakes,4 loads of laundry washed dried and folded,dishes done and some much needed time attacking my house with my handy dandy spray bottle of bleach water. Then I sat down to relax while I returned a call home to my parents,balanced my ledger and taught myself how to make my very first spread sheet. (I am especially proud since accounting and organizing paperwork have never been my strong suit.) It was then that I finally found peace and balance. My house is clean,my chores are done,dinner didn't come from a store,a box or the freezer,and my business is successful and organized. Finally. This is my "ohm" moment when I take a deep breath and feel satisfied. Taken to my happy place. My little world put back on it's axis. All the newness is starting to settle in as I find my groove at work and home and learn to balance a fuller schedule and it just feels sooo right! Again,I am so blessed!

I hope that this mysterious energy that I found today sticks around for awhile. There is so much more to do....:)