Thirtysomethingitis

Thirtysomethingitis-realizing you are no longer twenty and racing towards forty. Your brain finally starts to wake up as your body slowly slows down.
I hike up that *%$#@* mountain at least once a week. This week, twice. Go me.

I have enough nutritional and vitamin supplements on hand to keep me alive on an deserted island for 6 months. Ok so I'd need a water source and some major rationing but I could do it.

I spend wayyy too much time thinking completely irrational thoughts about how I look or if people like me, interrupted by thoughts of taxes and getting the dog's teeth cleaned. This whole life thing...I just assume since I am happy I am doing it right, and move on...right after I check my hair one more time ;)

Walking through Target the other day I began entering a section of clothes that were all strange looking. Ugly patterns and mismatched prints and tiny...and I look up...the Junior section. I think at some moment my feet literally left the ground as I jumped back in shock and back into the comfort of solid prints and pants made of denim. I left the women's section feeling pretty hip with my neon colored tank tops and my thought process went like this..
"I never thought I'd wear neon colors ever again!
They say fashions return on a 30 year cycle..?
Oh wait..
Awe crap really?!
I'm getting them anyway!
And a new Brita water pitcher!
So there!
I'm still hip.
I'm decreasing my carbon footprint.
 SEE! That was hip sounding of me!
Right?!
FML"

I want to spend more time with my friends and family. I need to work. These two things really interfere with each other. I need to make more money and work less...if only we all could!Time is just slipping by too fast.

I'm young and I'm old. I'm smart and I'm dumb. I am a whole list of contradictions. Some days I will tell you I am ok with that and other days I will be trying to make sense of it all and "find myself".

There is no cure. All I can do is wait, take my vitamin supplements and pray Fortysomethingitis is more fun.

Jinxed!

So.... you know how I was saying last blog about how we had finally tackled all the medical stuff and were looking forward to some smooth sailing? That very next morning we were headed right back to the ER after one of Vern's incisions took a turn for the worse...I jinxed us!! It's a bloody messy story that I will spare you but it turned out fairly minor and we were home and back in bed by 6am.
It has been two weeks and it might be safe by now to say things are going better. I didn't say the ARE better or that they are ALL better..I just said going better (just in case ya know?!)!
 Last weekend we went for a long drive for 2 days through southern Washington. We ventured up to see Mt Saint Helens but it was hidden in the clouds,we explored Chehalis and Centralia and every little town off the beaten path in between. We were lucky enough to find a hotel that allowed dogs,had a jacuzzi tub in the room and was under $100 per night. Oh and it has a BBQ restaurant and an espresso stand in the parking lot!SCORE! Wow..you know you're Redneck when..LOL! I can't tell you the exact moment but sometime Sunday morning we finally found our "Reset" button. All the stress and worry finally shed away,we got to plan a day of our choice and be adventurous like we used to be instead of our life being ruled by unhappy heath issues. It was just what we needed and we returned so refreshed and full of that momentum we have been needing so badly.
 Time for bed. I face Mount Peak again in the morning and last time it kicked my butt. My sweet friend Amie will be here at 7:30am...yikes. We will chat again soon ;)

Momentum

Here we are,a little over one week post op from Vern's gallbladder surgery. He is recovering quickly and returned back to work today. His poor tummy is scarred and bruised and my heart aches every time I see it because I know it has endured so much in the last 14 months. Vern is a real trooper and a very easy patient to care for. When he doesn't feel good he sleeps so it made my job as a Nurse fairly uneventful with the exception of a bandage change that almost made me faint. I will save you the gory details but remind me not to ever go into the medical field!

So now this is all behind us and we are trying our best to gain a little momentum. Propelling ourselves back into life in a productive manner. I think we may have almost forgotten how to enjoy life without the constant concern of a nagging health issue? Is there life beyond work and home and everything in between? Yes there is! There is a camping trailer just begging for an adventure and 2 dogs with cabin fever needing a weekend at the beach to get filthy and well..be dogs!

As for us humans we are both ready to take a weekend away and hit the reset button!I can honestly say that I have felt a "little bitchy" on and off for about 3 weeks now. I ran that 5k and haven't jogged since. I am not taking care of myself and it is causing me to struggle mentally. I am slowly getting back to eating healthy and kicking a few bad habits but have yet to do much more than a few long walks. I hadn't realized I was in such a slump and I promised myself I wouldn't give up..so I won't. I am still determined to look good in a bikini.

I will check back in soon. Maybe after that little getaway....;)

Compassion

Hello! Yes, I am still here!I haven't given up on blogging but must be in one of my "One blog every 3 months mode" that it get it every once in awhile. If you have been a follower of my blog you will know I can't resist a few blogs about spring!

First off let me explain that I have been legitimately busy getting my health and weight on track. The photo above is the day I finally conquered Mount Peak!That mountain had intimidated me long enough and it felt so amazing to reach the top. Now I see the top every Friday and I look forward to the work out!So I am back on my Isagenix and working out for the first time since high school and look what happened after only 8 weeks...

and then this happened...

WHO AM I?!??!!? I don't recognize this girl these days! ha ha I just might get in that bikini this summer after all!
Vern has been fighting battles with his health too but I can say with much confidence that I think we might have finally figured it out. He goes in to have his gallbladder removed on Monday. Yes,another friggin surgery. That's 4 between the 2 of us in the last 5 years. 1 shoulder,2 gallbladders and 12 inches of large intestine later,we MIGHT just get to be healthy for awhile!He has been SUCH a trooper with all the Doctors and tests despite the fact that he has felt sick for so many months with no answers until recently. He/we were actually a little excited about this surgery...it's that bad...who gets excited about surgery?! People who are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired,that's who.

The kids are good. In the last few months Max has fallen in love with one particular toy that we call her "baby". She really loves that thing,panics if she can't find it,cleanse it,sqweeks it...the love affair never ends. It's cute. Since then if we find another one like we buy it for back up as we cannot endure the heartache she would feel if she didn't have it. Her original one was getting worn so we are slowly introducing a new one and so far she is just as happy. Thank God the Easter bunny is bringing another spare!;) Chipper turns 7 in a few weeks,that boy is so chill. He still tolerates his little sister yet demands his daily treat when Daddy gets home but otherwise he is happy to sleep at our feet most of the time.

Although the first 3 months of this year have been less the easy I still hold out high hopes that things will turn around for the better. The have to. We have so many good things finally going right and it would be great if it ALL just fell into place for a few months. You know..if the sun could just shine and keep the flowers blooming..if dark wet nights turn into warm evenings on the porch with good friends..*sigh*

Stuff

I often wonder what makes me want to blog or not blog....I think sometimes it's because things just happen so quickly and I don't have the time or energy. Other times it's because I am going through things I don't want to or can't discuss here. But honestly I think it's just simply a lack of desire to write. I am not a writer.... and life...just feels too full of...stuff.
Right now,what is my life like riiiiight now? Vern and I are both running our butts of with work and smoked cheese orders and holidays and....life in general. All the reasons that make me start to actually look forward to the 400 mile road trip home for Christmas. It gives Vern and I 400 miles to reconnect and relax before the holiday starts in full swing. In the meantime, I have become an official lover of Amazon and have done most of my online shopping there.Now I wait patiently for it all to arrive at my doorstep. Until then,my shopping just doesn't feel "done".
 Vern's cold smoked cheese hobby is quickly becoming profitable. We are now delivering our first cheese orders!Vern cold smoked,sliced (with his fancy new electric slicer),packaged and labeled almost 20 pounds of cheese (with my help) and it looks beautiful! So proud of him!
The kids are good,still keeping us busy,making us laugh,or driving us crazy! Max is happy as long as she has her Momma so these long days I have been working have been a little rough for her. She is stuck home with "the boys" and usually insists her Daddy hold her or at least lay and snuggle with her so she can have her afternoon nap...and wins. Chipper gets his turn at the new groomer on Saturday so he can be all handsome for our visit to Grandma and Grandpa's house next week....oh wait have I even explained that?!....
 Guess what?! Vern,Chipper,Maxine and I are headed to Idaho for Christmas this year! It will be Vern and Maxine's first time having a traditional Chubb family Christmas!We are excited to be heading off on vacation in Idaho for the holiday this year where we are pretty much guaranteed a white Christmas. It's been too long since I have gone for a walk in the snow on Christmas day or felt the crunch of many inches of fresh snow under my feet! It's so true the little things you miss when you grow up aren't always what you expect. I know there were many times I swore I would never miss snow! HA!And on another level,it's another wonderful first,our first North Idaho Christmas as a happy little family,I am so ready to make some happy new memories! My Mom getting her first laptop,our kids acting all goofy in the snow and sharing it all with the man I love.
Ok,that's enough stuff for now.I  might check in again or you might not hear from me for the rest of the year? Depends on stuff ;)

I Suppose...

I could tell you it's November and my head is spinning with Thanksgiving planning...
but you probably already knew that.
Or maybe, that I am ready to hang up the Christmas lights early..
because that's a first.
I could tell you that October was a really slow month at the shop for me...
that sucked.
Or that I am so dang happy the elections are over...
there is always a few mouthy idiots that ruin it for everyone.
I could tell you about the slowly growing group of Hummingbirds that feed and frolic in our backyard these days..
"Hank" is the Alpha.
Or that Vern has mastered that art of making his own bacon AND fixed my Dad's boat..
but the Bacon topic alone deserves it's own blog post.
 I could admit that I am stumped and can't think of anything to talk about..
but you probably already knew that ;)