Blogging...Honestly

I'm not too sure I like where I live and I have a hard time settling in here. That is hard on me. It makes me unhappy that my house is not MY home. It's not all bad but the bad/good ratio runs an average of 50/50. What do I dislike you ask? My spoiled roommate who has been enabled and disbled his whole life. I generally like taking care of people but not when I feel taken advantage of. I will not do for those who are not willing to do for themselves. I will also not tolerate mentioned roommates Mother. We clash to say the least. I refuse to accept or enable anyone to live a lazy,unhealthy lifestyle,especially those I live with and care about. She feels the opposite. Her years of guilt over his blindness and meddling mothering have created a monster in her and her son. She has no idea what really goes on around here yet she thinks she knows everything! Ugh. Today was no exception,I ran my mouth like an idiot to my roommate's Mother in an  attempt to help and she got very upset and defensive. Reality check. I live and help care for a man who is legally blind and I am not allowed to suggest possible adjustments to his lifestyle to make him more productive and independent. If I do,it is seen as a selfish unsympathetic slam on his "fragile""limited" abilities. I forgot,I have made this mistake before...a few times. THAT is my bad.She left the salon in a huff and I knew the worst was yet to come...I sent Vern a warning. Once again, my sweet Vern was stuck in the middle of it and again was able to diffuse the emotions of our roommates mother. Vern had to admit in front of his mother and brother about all the little things his brother does to annoy us. All the little things I had brought up in attempt to make her understand,not things I intended for him to hear to his face. My bad again. I feel I put Vern in an awkward situation and I hurt his brother's pride. It all happen face to face and I wasn't even there so Vern was left mediating and defending me. I wouldn't say these things to Del because I want him to think that was he does to contribute around the house IS important so he might attempt to do more. One of my petty complaints was his dish washing skills,he does the dishes (doesn't use a sponge or scrub them) and then we have to rewash them. If he lived alone he would be eating off of moldy dishes. We don't complain because this is one of the only things he does to help. Well...now he knows. Creating a big giant elephant in the room when I got home.No one wishes to discuss any of this again and I assume we will all go on pretending it didn't happen and secretly resenting each other for it. I vow to stop running my mouth about this subject to her ever again. Mostly because I hate the agony it brings my poor boyfriend and secondly because it's unproductive,so why bother. We will stick to talking about the weather.And when I need help caring for or I am concerned about her son,I will seek the help and support of someone else.
It all boils down to where we live. The Catch 22. Living with my boyfriend's disabled brother and attempting to help him have a good quality of life and a nice home. AND...Living in someone else's house, while appreciating it more than they do and trying to have a good quality of life and a nice home. Through all of this one thing is constant...the love between Vern and I. That's what keeps me here,loving Vern is what gives me strength to tolerate days like today when I want to give up and move. I know in his heart he needs to be here taking care of his brother and sharing my life with him means standing beside him and sharing in what is important to him. I just can't be too sure I will be good at it all the time. ha ha I also know that living here and loving Vern means respecting his Mother and keeping the peace.I think with a little more practice I will be a pro at this...I will do it to avoid putting him in more situations like today. I will do it because I love him :)
Wow,that felt good. It felt good to whine to someone and get it off my chest. I wonder if I'll have the courage to post it...a good ol' honest blog. No "Miss Nicey Nice" just "this is what is on my mind today,good or bad. If I sound like an idiot, well,I think I am willing to take that chance".

Confessional

I have a confession to make. I have blog insecurities.

I think and stress too much about what to blog. I follow blogs of people who are crafty or great writers and the bar is set so high. My blog  has no theme,I am not a great writer and in general my life tends to be fairly uneventful (just the way I like it :) ) I stare at a blank screen too long trying to think of something substantial to blog and usually nothing comes to mind. Most of the time I find myself wanting to vent and assuming that no one wants to read a blog that's a downer. So I blog about the stuff that I assume people might want to know..I think I am wrong. I think my blog needs improving and I am trying to figure out how. I figure that if you don't enjoy what you are doing then you probably won't be good at it. If I am not blogging from the heart then it probably won't be any good to read. There are a small handful of good friends actually reading my blog and that is enough for me. So who am I fooling? People that already know me and love me for who I am? I need to put my insecurities aside and blog from the heart.  Stay with me folks,give me some feed back..do you enjoy my blog? Does it need more photos? Am I just too random? ha ha
I'm working on it...I live a life worth reading about,I just have a hard time putting it all into words :)

It's February Already?

February has been a bit brutal around our house...
 I hurt my back and then shortly after,Vern got the flu, so we have been out of commission for a few weeks. You know how it goes,trying to work and get better while keeping the house and meals up when all you really want to do is sleep until the worst is over. Thankfully,the worst is over. Vern is returning back to work tomorrow and I finally have a few days off to catch up. Chipper and Maxine have been great throughout the process,it's fortunate we have 2 dogs that like to nap and snuggle :)
 Maxine is growing fast,I bet she's 4 pounds by now! ha ha We go the Vet  on the 15th to get the last of her puppy shots and vaccinations and then we are headed off to Sekiu the 18th. Yay! Our happy place! It has been calling me,I hope the beach is FULL of agates! The rock tumbler is already ready...Vern got more "polish" for it a few weeks ago so we could return from vacation and start uncovering our treasures immediately! I am also excited because it is Maxine's first time at the beach,I hope she likes it as much as we do :) Now if only I could figure out how to train the dogs to agate hunt...?
;)

Our Sweet Fur Babies

Maxine and Mommy finally accomplish a ponytail!

Rare moment-Chipper and Maxine together,holding still AND looking at the camera!

Our sweet baby girl Maxine :)

Bath time!

So fluffy and pretty after her bath!

Whao Mom! Too close!

Smells Like....

 I woke up late in the morning after a loonnng nights sleep.

I took the dogs out and I was happy to see that for the first time in weeks the step was dry.

So I sat and enjoyed a cigarette while the dogs played in the sun and went about their morning rituals.

I was surprised how warm it was and took a moment to be thankful for such a beautiful day in January!

And then I smelt it..

It was a just a slight sweet clean smell in the air..

Spring?! Is that what that is?

Nooo it's just too early,best not to jump the gun on spring fever.

I know what it is!

Life!

The sweetness of sunshine hitting green grass and making it warm.

The woodsy goodness of beauty bark finally drying after months of rain.

That tiny bit of green left on last year's flowers,reminding us all wasn't lost over winter.

I took a moment to savor it before herding the kids inside.

For me it's also the smell of faith.

Having the faith that spring will eventually come.

Spring hasn't failed to show up yet!? ha ha

A sample of things to come as the rain soaks us for many more months.

Faith to know I will survive it.



Life. Translated.

I have a client at work that I have known for about a year. She speaks very little to no English and I speak little to no Spanish. It is hard on me to not be able to talk and get to know my client! Sooo,one night I found an online translator and wrote her a letter. I told her about myself and how much I appreciated her loyalty despite the language barrier. Today she came in for an appointment and I was able to give her the letter. She appreciated it very much! I was relieved to know that my efforts were not wasted. In return, she wanted my email address so she could return the favor. How cool is that!?  Thank you technology! Sometimes you can be a real pain in the a$$ and other times you are resourceful beyond my wildest dreams :)

Pork Chops

I woke up a little late.

Arrived to work on time,barely.

8 hours of a packed schedule and all the hair magic I could muster.

Cut and style!

Talk and smile!

All.

Day.

Long.

I drove home in the dark rain,exhausted.

As I hurried up the back step I saw the BBQ on...

Could it be true?

I kicked off my shoes and followed the aroma of delicious food that smelled way better than the leftovers I had planned!

Mmmmm...

Vern had made the pork chops with apple butter I had been blogging about but hadn't had time to make yet.

Except he smoked them in the BBQ.

Heavenly!

I am so grateful to share my life with someone who appreciates and supports my ambitions big or small.

Who knows that after a long cold day,a warm savory meal will make me feel better.

Thank you Vern

I love you

<3