Deja Vu?

So many times I have written a post like this before but I suppose it can't stop me from posting about it once again...
In 48 hours I plan to be in Camp Sekiu. 2 1/2 days of beach combing,fresh ocean air,campfires and snuggling with my man in our double sleeping bag. I need to get away and unplug,it has been an intense summer and things aren't slowing down anytime real soon as the holidays sneak up on us.When I walk on those beaches I forget about this big ol' crazy world. No voice mails to check or calls to return,no messy roommate,no work and too far away to be much help if needed anyway. I need a damn hot dog!Charred near black by a propane BBQ or open flame and a few days of crazy wind blown hair and no make up. I want to get my daily work out while climbing through the rain forest looking for mushrooms. Maybe Vern can snag us a salmon out of the river and we can once again experience a Northwest dinner like no other? Fresh salmon caught that day and mushrooms picked that day, all grilled over an open flame in the rain forest as you gaze at the stars and point out the occasional cruise ship floating slowly by in the Straits below. It's magic,an experience you could not buy in any restaurant. So tomorrow I will dig out my travel bag and begin to pack in hopes that will keep my busy until Friday afternoon when we make our escape.

Back On The Wagon..

Sometime last week I started up my Isagenix again and tomorrow I start my first cleanse! With some help of two other Isa friends coaching me I have lost the 2 pounds I gained while I was off of it! The three of us are cleansing together tomorrow and I am excited at the thought of having someone to struggle through it with! Cleansing is a two day process in which you fast for 2 days and in return nourish and cleanse your body with the help of a cleanse liquid and little round snacks packed full of the nutrients your body needs to nourish and stabilize during the process. Oh and water,lots and lots of water to help flush it all out! Half your body weight in ounces,try it,it's harder than you think...inless you are thin then don't...go have a cheeseburger in my honor instead. ;)
I do not want to be a yo yo dieter. I do not want to lose this weight and then gain it all back. This really has to happen and I really can do it.

This Little House

This little house we live in...I must be determined to like it and stay here because room by room,year by year,we make it a little bit better. As we are deeply committed now to our bedroom remodel,it motivates me to want to tackle so many of the other projects I have in mind. 2 more rooms. OK,2 1/2 because the kitchen isn't totally done yet (needs shelves/deco). Oh and add another half because our bedroom is great but not 100% until we tackle the glue issue on the floors (under the new rug) someday. But basically it comes down to the living room and the office. The living room needs paint,trim,a mantle,lighting,blinds, furniture and new deco that involves all the repurposed projects I have waiting. The office needs new paint,flooring, furniture (everything from a futon to a new computer desk),window covering/blinds and a deco face lift. I am hoping this inspires me to also finish and add a few touches to the kitchen and our bedroom but check back with me a year from now and see how I am doing. ha ha! If you have an old house you'll understand exactly what I mean,the projects never end.
;)

In One Day...

In one day we....
Cleaned and reorganized the garage
Doubled the size of the garage sale pile
Created more storage room for Vern and a craft bench for me in above mentioned newly cleaned garage.
Took a break..
But it was still early...
So we...
Moved everything out of our bedroom
Pulled up the carpet,pad and tack strips
Scrubbed,swept and vacuumed the newly found hardwood floors to remove "some" of the glue residue we will have to tackle in a future project.
Took 350 pounds of junk to the dump.
Went to Home Depot and was lucky enough to find an 8x12 foot beige burbur "solution" for under $100, a new lamp for my night stand and a few cans of Oops Paint (for future projects)
Returned home to wipe down and clean the bedroom walls and furniture
Rolled out and fit new rug into bedroom only to discover that it is 3 inches too wide..and we were too tired to care..
Moved all the clean bedroom furniture back into the bedroom.
Sat in awe for the rest of the evening at how wonderful our new room looks and smells as my new lamp shined a dim, blueish light into the room.
Had the epiphany that if you don't like something about your house/life it may take less that you think to fix it.
Have a clean,organized and roomy garage that makes all 3 of us happy and a beautiful "new"bedroom for one day's work and $150.

The diet. Fell off the wagon somewhere around week 6. Still holding at 15 lbs lost and not gaining so far...still have a closet full of Isagenix but just can't bring myself to get back on the program. I am happier with myself,perhaps I have lost the drive? Maybe it was too strict or I didn't have the will power? I dunno. Not disappointed,I know it'll happen. We are eating better,it's a start :)
Summer. Here in full heat. Supposed to hit 95 degrees by Friday. That's ridiculously hot if you ask me. I will stay in front of the air conditioner.
Work. Good,still happy with the new salon. Business is good and I have been blessed with so many loyal clients that are keeping my schedule full!
Vern's health-after a very "productive" colonoscopy,he is feeling better and we are waiting to see the Dr for the results buttt..the fact that they haven't called yet is somewhat reassuring.
Life. Is busy. I think we are booked up every spare non working,waking moment until the 3rd week in September! Birthday parties,garage sale,hot air balloon ride,babysitting and a weekend away junkin fills the schedule so quickly. Vern is the "lucky" one who gets to take a hot air balloon ride with his Mom. I hate heights. He is a good son ;)
Me. Happy. Attempting to make my first tutu for a very special 5 year old on her birthday! Medication free for 2 months and feeling great. Still finding my "balance" emotionally and physically but remembering what my life was like before I went numb. A little freaked at how numb I had become (and I was on a low dose!) and didn't realize it.  Trying to put my energy into getting Vern and I healthy and having the energy to take on all the new projects that junkin has brought into my life!
Good Night. Thanks for reading this brief blog all the way through....Is all I have left to say.

Just Too Much

I feel a bit obligated to report in after the much anticipated anniversary party. If you were to ask my parents or any of the guests they would tell you that the parties were fabulous and they all had a great time. I couldn't be happier with that end result,goal accomplished.
Here's the weird part...for me,it was the weekend from Hell. The hotel rooms were stinky,filthy or a horrid combo of both.Poor Vern became sick with a dangerous bout of Diverticulitis the first day and suffered miserably until we left to come home a day early to the "comforts" of our local ER in fear we could get stuck in the hospital in Idaho or Spokane for Lord knows how long. After what he has been through this year with his colon,we were both overcome with a helpless fear of so many unknown possibilities.During all of this,we attempted to maintain our plans of cooking and prepping almost all the food for 2 parties. One of the down sides of my occasional over ambitious,control freak habits is that when the shit hits the fan I am the only one who knows how to execute all my elaborate intentions!This was one of those times.It felt like it all just slipped away before I was ready. The time disappeared and the parties happen and...it was all over before I had a chance to enjoy it. What is a family party if I don't take the time to enjoy my family? This hostess gig is so much more complicated than I thought it would be! Then add the fun of 3 adults and 2 dogs in one hotel room for 3 nights. The barking,the air conditioning, the awkwardness of sharing that space with Vern's 19 year old son and a big fabulous hot tub that was too hot to enjoy in the 90 degree heat. I had lost any possible chance at being able to tolerate any other curve ball that came my way....and then.... I broke. Having to say goodbye to David after only a few short hours of time together,torn by the need to get Vern medical care and the unexpected pain that erupted when I once again had to say goodbye to David too soon.Rushing out of the weekend that I had worked so hard on,leaving so many loose ends but anxious to get home to our familiar Doctors and hospital....
Something came over me like I have never experienced before. I cried. I cried for pretty much the entire 8 hour ride home and when I woke up the next morning..I started to cry again. I had so much overwhelming sadness in my heart about all that had happened. I think back and my heart literally cringes at some of the things I said or felt because I was overwhelmed. And I did it all to myself. My inexperience with this type of party planning and my over the top expectations ended up being my demise. My unpredictable emotions that sometimes appear when I spend time with David. The fear of something..anything hurting the one man I love like no other..it was all too much and this time I didn't even care enough to fake it.
It took me days to start to snap out of it. The last week is a blur and I'm not too sure I am going to try too hard to recall it.I'll try to remember all the good,there was some. Thing is,this was one of those life things that shook me to my core. It introduced me to a dark inner place I'd rather avoid and in other ways,also created growth. I know that with great emotional pain comes enormous emotional growth and I am always honestly thankful for the revelation. This party was not at all how I planned yet it all appeared  as a graceful symphony to those who didn't know better. Hmm perhaps some of the good is...I'm not as horrible at this as I had originally thought ;)

Vacation

In 3 days we leave for Idaho. Yes, my mind is still a whirlwind of all the party preparations and yes... I am still loving every minute of it! So much is done already but still so much to do. I catch my mind wandering off on vacation already. It would much rather plan what I am going to wear or dream of soaking in that huge hot tub adjoined to our room. It's thinking of long drives down dirt roads and a few days with Vern and all 4 of our "kids" (Trevor,David,Chipper and Maxine) making memories as a family. It is fantasizing about a table full of food and deco before the treats are even cooked and the glitter is still wet on the deco!So much to do in the next 3 days yet my lists also include a mani/pedi and a few sessions of tanning. Balance....,it is all about balance right? The good with the bad,the work and the play.So I guess you could say that right now my body knows it needs to work but my mind keeps running off to play. Tomorrow is a big day,baking cupcakes,prepping any food that can be done ahead of time,chocolate coating the truffles,cleaning house,packing and running all sorts of misc errands. Oh but the joy in the voices of my parents...it makes it all so worth it ;)